Page 31 of Drench My Halls

“I have been through a lot of heartbreak in my life. It astonishes me how I am able to write such popular romance novels, but maybe it’s because I still believe in love. I believe a great love is out there for me. I seek it. I crave it just as much as you crave to turn the next page. This award means more to me then you can possibly know. There is one person missing tonight that I would like to share this moment with more than anything. Mystery man, if you are watching this. I would burn down the world for you.”

I raise the award in the air and wave goodbye. I exit the stage and am escorted to the back for photos. I stand there and smile for more cameras but the only thing I want to do is get on the jet and fly back to Everwood.

“Are we done?” I ask Madison who has the itinerary.

She nods.

“Good. Let’s get home.”

“I knew you would come to your senses.”

She smiles as she takes my hand, calling the driver and leads us out the back exit. Our car pulls up and paparazzi begin to swarm the car. We take off towards the airport.

Our flight home was only two hours, during that time I changed out of my dress into sweatpants and a hoodie. I called Caleb twice but no answer. I was sent straight to voicemail. My knee bounces up and down as I become impatient.

“Relax. We are almost there.” Madison places her hand on my knee, I turn to her and smile. She has been such a great friend to me, and I am constantly putting up walls with her.

“You are a great friend Madison, thank you.”

She rests her head on my shoulder as our Uber drives through Downtown. We pull up to my house and I quickly exit the car.

Madison hops into her jeep and speeds away yelling out the window, “good luck!”

I drop my bags at my front door and head down the hill to Caleb’s house. The lights are on, and his truck is in the driveway, so I know he is home. I walk up to the door and knock. He doesn’t answer the door. I look into the window, but I don’t see anything. I hear faint music coming from the backyard, so I walk around the side of the house, opening the gate. I slowly walk up onto the patio, my footsteps come to an abrupt halt.

“Oh fuck, I’m coming.”

Caleb is in the pool, pounding into a naked Sabrina. I gasp covering my mouth. Caleb stops thrusting, his eyes searing my skin. I turn around and run quickly out the gate, closing it shut.

“Oh shit.” Sabrina giggles as I walk up the hill.

I am embarrassed. I shouldn’t have gone to his house unannounced. What I didn’t expect is to feel jealous, angry, that one slight argument would lead him to sticking his cock inside his routine fuck. That just tells me when shit goes wrong his first instinct is to run into the arms of someone who wants just sex from him. But I can’t blame him. I almost slept with Daniel.

Jesus, what am I doing? I have never been so confused.

“Julia.” Caleb calls out to me as I walk up my front porch.

I turn to face him as he jogs over to me.

“I didn’t know…” He tries to speak but I interrupt him.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over unannounced. I’m sure Sabrina is waiting for you to finish her off.”

I turn to unlock my door. His hand shoots out onto the door. His head is so close to mine, I can feel his breath against my hair. The hint of whiskey on his breath fills my nose. He is drunk.

“I already finished her off. I just wanted to say congratulations. You two make the perfect couple.” He laughs as he removes his hand from the door.

Asshole.

I close my eyes, wanting to tell him to kiss my ass and that I didn’t go back to Daniel, that I want him.

But what good would that do?

He is hurt, lashing out, and just fucked Sabrina. I am not someone’s second choice. Just like I wouldn’t want him to be my second choice. He shouldn’t have walked away last night, he should have begged me to choose him, he should have gone to LA to surprise me, something. But instead, he chose Sabrina. I can’t blame him, I didn’t make it easy, but a girl can dream of getting those happy endings in the novels she reads and writes, can’t she?

“Not everything you see in tabloids is true.”

With that I close the door. I sink down along the door until my ass hits the cold wood. I can’t even cry. My eyes are so dry. I just fall to the side, resting my cheek against the floor. I stay there sulking in my mistakes, thinking about how my life continues to get fucked up by Daniel.

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