Page 51 of Sinful Addiction

“No, Mom.Tonight was supposed to be about us then she came along with her thug boyfriend, her white dress, flashing those fucking jewels around her neck and made it all about her.It’s not fair.”She’s a twenty-eight-year-old woman in literal tears with jealousy.

There’s no way I’d survive any of this on my own, nor would I if I stayed any longer with Antonio by my side.These people are mentally destroying me.

“I’ll see you out.”Mom walks to the door with us while we leave the arguing voices behind.

“I’m sorry,” I start then burst into tears.

“Darling.What’s gotten into you?”

“That’s enough, Grace.Let them go.”Dad rounds the corner and takes hold of Mom’s arm to guide her away from the door and me.

“Dad…” I don’t know what I want to say to him, but I need him to know I did nothing wrong.

“No, Lacey.Not this time.I know who Antonio is and what he does for a living.But I will not have you come into my home and upset your sister like that and ruin her night.I think it’s best if you keep your distance from her until she calms down.As for you, Antonio.You’re not welcome in this house.”

“Dad!”I plead.“No!”I cry.He can’t do this.

“I’m sorry, Lacey, but this is on your conscience, not mine.Goodnight.”

On instinct, I touch the necklace Antonio gifted me in hopes it might calm me.But it only infuriates Dad more.

“I said leave!”he bellows.

I flinch.He may have raised his voice at me many times, but he’s never before yelled at me with such hatred.

I acknowledge our time has ended and turn to leave.I glance once more at Mom, whose eyes are downcast, then I see the figure standing behind her and Dad.As soon as my eyes lock with his, I turn and bolt for the car.

Antonio is nowhere to be seen as I get into the car, but I don’t care.I don’t care if he’s threatening them.I don’t care if he’s teaching them a lesson.I just don’t care.All the things I made him promise, I take them back.He can cut whatever he likes off whomever deserves it the most.I’m done.

Wheezing for air, I panic.The thought of reliving my past cripples me.Antonio said I had to tell him what was wrong.He knew that man inside.He’s going to figure out what he used to do to me and make me say it.I can’t.I don’t want to.

“Eek!”I shriek and jump at the sudden intrusion, then I try to fight the person off.

“Pixie, it’s me.”Strong arms engulf my fragile frame and I shatter.

“I want nothing more than to bring you solace right now, but if I don’t get us out of your parents’ driveway, I’m going back in there to cause more damage than I already have.I need to know you’ll be okay until I can pull us over or get us home.”

“Get me far away from them.Take me back to your place.I don’t want to go home.It reminds me of everything they used to manipulate me.”

He doesn’t hesitate as he starts the car and drives.

“Are you ready to talk about it?”Antonio’s soft voice asks from the other side of the bathroom door.

As soon as we arrived at his house, he drew me a bath and gave me space.I’ve never seen him more concerned than I have tonight.I also know it’ll be killing him inside.

“Not yet.”

I don’t have any sense of time, but the water hasn’t yet cooled, and I swore as soon as it turned, I’d face reality.I sink further into the fragrant milky water until I’m fully submerged.Underwater I have a sense of freedom where no one can harm me.The calmness throughout my body slows my racing heart and all thoughts are molded into a puffy cloud, afar in the distance.There’re meadows blooming with sunflowers and a scarecrow trying to protect them.I take my time admiring the flowers’ golden beauty.

The protective scarecrow glitches as it begins to morph into something of a nightmare.Hisface taunts me as the scarecrow continues its transition and the meadow now resembles a dark, dead forest.I inhale a lungful of air as I try to run away, but it’s not air at all, and as hard as I try, I can’t move.

Why do I feel as if I’m suffocating?

A coughing fit takes hold and chokes my lungs as I struggle to rise from this dream.

No amount of coughing is relieving the burning sensation in my lungs.My mind seems to be detached from my body because I can’t grasp what’s happening while I fight.

Finally, the water I’ve been trying to cough up is projected from my body.It’s a horrible sensation no one should ever have to experience.I’m scared I’ll not recover from this careless mistake.Cries mix with my coughing attack, and that’s when I can sense air filling my lungs, not water.I’m now dry retching as the last evidence of moisture tries to clear.

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