Page 101 of Feverburn

I continued,“You have dreams to save the women youlove. I’m not sure why things didn’t work with Jamie and Whitney, and honestly, I feel immense guilt that I’m here today and they’re not. But you didn’t know it, but now you do. You saved me. You were aware of the possibletragedy, and we built on our spiritual connection with the blessing. We even had a shared dream of that exact moment. That wasn’t random.”

His eyebrows gathered,“When you collapsed, I felt you across the street. I could sense something was wrong.”

“Exactly. Since we met, you said you had an instinct to watch out for me. What if this was it, Carson? What if you were supposed to sense I needed help at that moment? This was never acurse. It was a blessing.”I felt tears brim my eyes as an emotional concoction filled my body: the sourness of guilt, the weightlessness of luck, and the sweetness of gratitude. Defensive tears spilled over,“We were never cursed.”

His voice came out thick,“I’ll have to take your word for it.”He leaned forward tokissmy forehead.“All I know is you’ve been mygreatestblessing, Rosie. Iloveyou so much, and I’m glad you’re okay. You’re sostrongand resilient. Ihopeyou’re safe now, and we can put all this behind us.”He squeezed my arm, looking me over.

“I take it the town got the memo we’re together?”I asked, sniffling.

He fought a chuckle by licking his lips.“Yeah, word traveled fast.” His gaze was unfocused for a moment, a dullness drifting over him.“I hauled you out of Silver Springs for the whole town to see. Given my reaction, I’m guessing it was obvious. I got some weird phone calls. My family is thrilled but worried about you.”

“We will tell them everything.”

“Not everything,”he said, tucking some hair behind my ear.“I still want to hang on to parts of our story, keep things for us.”

I pulled him in for a quickkiss.“I like the way you think. All in?”

His face twitched with a small smile.“All in.”

Later that day, I sent Carson home to rest. I could tell he was exhausted, and the nurses mentioned he had barely left my side. Kaylee and Harley came to visit first. She brought me a chunk of moss agate crystal, which helps with tissue repair and deep healing. She also snuck me an iced coffee and showed me videos of their dogs to distract me with cuteness.

Harley slid a cool rustic mason jar of sunflowers on my table and hugged me. Aside from Carson, he had seen me at some of my lowest points in life recently and still treated me with respect. In the past, most of my friend’s boyfriends treated women likesillylittle things they needed to wrangle or tolerate. That wasn’t the case with the Kouris brothers.

I conked out shortly after they left because of the pain meds. My mom woke me up by accident with her phone ringing. Once I was awake, she damn near crawled into bed with me, clutching me to her while we both cried. After blubbering together, I sent her down to get herself a coffee.

She ran into Maxine by thegiftshop. Through a process of elimination, they realized who each other was. It was heartwarming seeing both of our moms together and getting along so well. When Maxine leaned in to hug me, I started crying again. But she didn’t break the hug first; she let me, and I loved that about her.

After asking how I was, Maxine set to business. Bangles clacked down her arm as she held up a pointer finger. “Let’s get the obvious out of the way. It’s maddening as women that we deal with the brunt of birth control in our relationships. I mean, dear god, man will visit the moon, but heaven forbid someone experiments on their balls.”

“It’s patriarchal bullshit,” my mom and I said in unison.

Maxine’s eyes bounced between us as she pulled up a chair. “I knew I liked you two. Okay, Rosie, my dear. This is so scary. I want you to know whatever you’re feeling is valid.”

“I’m fine. But I didn’t want you to find out this way. I’m sorry we kept this from you,”I sniffled.“I don’t want you to think I was ashamed of your son.”

“Oh, sweetie, don’t apologize! You have nothing to be sorry for,”she said, patting my legs. “Both of my boys are so damn secretive. I get it. Dating in a small town is hard. I was visiting from Canada when I met their father. I had just finished university and was doing some soul-searching, so I rented this little cottage on the lake. I needed light bulbs, so I went into the hardware store, and the rest was history.” Her cheeks flushed with a wistful smile. “We sneaked around the whole summer. When I packed my car to leave, Markos laid in the middle of the road to stop me.”

My mom and I smiled at Maxine, loving her story.

She blinked away her reverie, “So I get it. I really do.”

I sucked in a shaky breath. “With everything that happened with Carson in the past and what happened between Kaylee and me, we just wanted to keep thingsprivateuntil we were ready,”I wiped away more tears from my hot, swollen eyes. “It all came crashing down at once.”

It washeart-wrenching to know a man I loved was hated. And waking up in a hospital bed, knowing I could’ve died from something like birth control, was scarier than shit. It made me feel helpless even though I was fighting for what I wanted. Even before my accident, I had to put on a brave face at the Smutty Summit, and before that, when I moved to Pine Bluff. Now pushed to my breaking point, I, well…broke.

Tears created itchy paths down my cheeks. It was cathartic. My mom rubbed my back after handing me a tissue.“Honey, you need to give yourself some credit. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been through a lot. New town, new business, a complicated relationship.”

Maxine nodded,“When I heard you were moving up here with Kaylee, I thought you were a better woman than I’d ever be. Keeping your dating life personal is understandable. Yourprivatelife isprivate.”

“Are you saying that as a therapist or a mom?”

She grinned, her funky glasses lifting her shaggy bangs.“Both.”That made all of us chuckle.

A nurse came in to check my vitals, interrupting our therapy session. After that, I told them the PG version of the story, only revealing thecrucialparts and omitting some raunchy details. Talking about Carson put a smile on my face. It was one of the first times I could do it so openly.

“Aside from being such a gentleman, he’s so handsome,”my mom said in wonderment, then patted Maxine’s arm.“You sure make some pretty babies, lady!”

“I could say the same. When I met Rosie earlier this year, I was blown away by howgorgeousshe was. Look at that hair, those eyes. Every time I see her, she is kind and easygoing. Just good-natured, you can tell.”She winked at me before turning to my mom. “All my kids have found beautiful,strongwomen; I couldn’t be happier.”

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