Page 98 of Feverburn

Stumbling out of Silver Springs, some part of my brain saw patrons using the small patio tables. Another part of my brain walked up to them and plunked Rosie right next to their lattes, jostling everything to spill over. They hovered around, some lady screaming. I was in a wakingnightmarewith no one helping me.

I shucked off her boots, grabbing her tights and yanking them off. The fabric was drenched, heavy withblood. I slapped it on the table, my vision getting spotty. I bit back a sob, terrified I was about to watch Rosie die on the street between our shops, too soon before I could fullyloveher.

Kaylee came running out, holding her phone near my face. “They need us to get to a place they can land!”

I stammered,“She’s bleeding out. I don’t know what to do. She’s bleeding out.”

The dispatch lady’s voice drifted in my mind,“Put pressure on it, firm pressure. Don’t touch her torso. Just press between her legs with something besides your hand.”

I spotted the chair with someone’s tan jacket draped across the back. I wadded it up and put it under her dress against her center. Morebloodseeped into the tan jacket, crawling closer to my hand.“There’s so muchblood. It’s not stopping.”

“Just put pressure on it. We are confirming pick up location,”the dispatch instructed.“Is she clammy?”

“Yes. She’s scorching hot to the touch. It’s like a full-on feverburn. She’s so hot I don’t know what the fuck to do. She can’t die!”

To my left, Officer Boyd charged towards me. “Get away from her!” he shouted, trying to haul me away.

A frustrated scream ripped through my throat as I shoved him away with my bloody hands. He staggered backward, trying to get his footing. The next moments were a blur. Coming out of the post office, Dane ran to shove Boyd back again, screaming something at him before opening his truck door for us.

I crawled in, holding Rosie. Kaylee went along with us, sitting in the passenger seat and coordinating the pickup for Life Flight. Dane reversed the truck, not waiting for traffic, getting a long honk from the person behind us. He flipped them off, driving like a mobster out of town as I clutched Rosie, trying to brace her from the chaotic ride. Her body blazed in my arms, the feverburn overtaking her.

Her breathing quickened, panting almost like she had just run a marathon as she shivered in my arms. Behind her cracked eyelids, her eyes were rolled in the back of her head, too white and unnerving. I cradled her and held her face, hating how unresponsive she was.

Kissing her forehead, I whispered so the other two couldn’t hear,“Roisin, this isn’t how it ends…this isn’t how you will go out. You need to fight; you need to stay here. We have so much more we need to do together.”

Tears spilled out of my eyes, soaking her hair. I continued,“I want to marry you. I want toloveyou. I want to watch a million sunsets on the lake with you and take you to Hawaii and more concerts. And drink your foofy coffee and paint how beautiful you are. I want to put as many babies in you as you want.”A sad laugh escaped me, knowing she would’ve rolled her eyes at the last part if she was awake. My tortured chuckle morphed into sobs as I clutched her closer, sensing it was my final moment with her. The blessing didn’t work. Mycursegot to her. I did this.

Her breathing was so quick it was distressing to watch. She looked possessed, fighting for a lungful. I buried my face in her neck, unable to watch.

My voice creaked,“Rosie, don’t go…don’t go…we’re all in, remember? All in. Don’t go…don’t go…”

I tried to memorize how she felt in my arms, howwildand witchy her scent was, and how soft her curls were against my face. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could go back in time and somehow save her. I did this. I did this to her.

A hand grasped my arm. It was Dane holding the door open for me. We had pulled over in a local park, and the helicopter for Life Flight had landed, the blades of grass swishing with thestronggusts of wind. I pulled Rosie from the back seat, the dampness of thebloodon both of us.

The next thing I knew, she was on the stretcher while they loaded her in the helicopter, the medics quickly at work. The sound of thebeatingpropeller echoed in my ears, matching the drumming of myheart.

“Could this be a miscarriage?”a guy medic asked.

“No, she’s on birth control.”I looked at herbloodyinner thighs on the stretcher, nauseous with the realization.“Could this be her IUD?”I gulped hard, suddenly too hot and sick.

“We will update you at the hospital.”

Everything blurred as the helicopter took off, and someone pushed me back to the truck. Closer to town, I realized Kaylee was glancing back at me, herpaleeyes steely and concerned, rimmed red from crying.

I squeezed Dane's shoulder from where I sat in the back seat.“Thank you.”

He shook his head and murmured,“Don’t thank me. I can drive you to the hospital, but you should change your clothes first.”

I looked down at my lap, dark with Rosie’sblood, and swallowed hard. Once we pulled up to the back of my store, I saw Bear parking and Harley leaning against his work truck. Both of their faces were like Kaylee’s—stony and concerned. Harley walked towards me and Kaylee, hugging us both.

Letting go of them, I eyed Bear. “Hey man, I’m going to drive you,”he said, handing me some of his workout clothes that I changed into in the parking lot, not caring who saw me or that I left my bloodied ones on the pavement.

The road passed on and on. I stared ahead, and the puke threatening to rise in my throat finally won, and I had topunchBear to pull over. Hurling in the forest, I had flashbacks of Rosie’s limp body, the distinct burn of her fever against my cheek, and how I might’ve killed the woman I loved.

On all fours, I stared down at the forest floor covered in my puke. The dream raced in my mind. Then memories coiled like seeing her smile for the first time, her white dress trailing behind her as she ran in the forest on Litha, her eyes on my skin as she painted.

It was too much to process, so my body revolted again in more puke. I killed Rosie. I did this. I was sogreedytoloveher, to think I could get away with it. I also vowed that if mycursetook another life, I would return to this forest to end my own. I couldn’t keep hurting people.

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