Page 99 of Feverburn

But I had to get to her; I had to push it aside until I could see her again, even if it was only her body. Hopping back into the truck, Bear handed me gum and water. I pushed the air controls high and shut off the radio.

“She will be okay,”he said after a while.

“We don’t know that.”

“I know. But youloveher. She’s your girl. With everything you’ve been through, it won’t end like this.”

My face pulled into a miserable scowl to hide my sob.“I can’t lose her.”

Bear knew more than anyone how traumatizing this was for me. After each woman passed away, he found me on the bluff and talked me through the grief night after night when I couldn’t sleep.

Time got foggy stretched too thin while also sinking. I ended up at the hospital staring at the wall in the waiting room, wondering why they chose the yellow tile they did. It was too bright and cheery for such a sad place.

The space was too quiet and empty when I called Rosie’s mom. My words echoed, forcing me to hear the harsh news twice. I gritted my teeth, trying not to lose it while she sobbed,‘Not my baby!’

After that phone call, things lurched to a standstill. Hours and hours stacked up, and with it, the awareness of what I risked consumed me. I should have listened to the damn dream. My selfishness hurt Rosie. I found someone so magical andwonderfuland snuffed the light out of her.

I wasn’t cursed. Iwasthecurse. And my cursedlovekilled Rosie.

The Phoenix

Chapter Forty

It was so cold where I was. Cold and dark. I was on top of a pile of prickling needles in a dark room. My bones were brittle and stiff as a dull ache radiated through me. People were talking, but they sounded so far away, muffled. I wanted to tell them I needed help, but my mouth wouldn't move.

Then warmth seeped into me, like the sun coming out on a cloudy day, radiating light. A swaying sensation filled me with the crash of waves in the distance. I opened my eyes enough to see I was on Carson’s chest, lakeside in our hammock. I couldn’t look at his face, only his chest. It was as if something was stopping me. He held my hand, kissing my ring finger tattoo.

His familiar voice rumbled,“You need to come back now, Rosie.”

I nuzzled his chest, not wanting to move.

Then, another voice filled my head. It was my own. It started as a whisper that I couldn’t decipher. I looked up from his chest to see an apparition of myself walking out of the lake, the edges of mynakedbody and hair on fire. She glided closer, her eyes glazed in all white, pinning me withshockas the chant clarified in my brain. Her mouth didn’t move, but I heard her nonetheless. Each syllable churned into a thunderous chant.

“The feverburn has ended.”

I sucked in a breath, clinging to Carson.

It came even louder. “The feverburn has ended.”She reached a fiery hand to touch me, and I jolted awake.

The sound of beeping poked the air. My throat wasrawand dry. I squinted in the dark room, realizing I was in a hospital bed. How did I get here? I blinked as more details registered in my brain. I was warm, so warm I was sick to my stomach. I had an oxygen tube under my nose. I wanted to pull it off, but raising my hand took too much effort. I felt drunk.

To my left, Carson was asleep in a chair, leaning against a wall. I braced myself on my elbows, trying to sit up, realizing I couldn’t. My whole body was too heavy. My voice came out slow,“Carson.”I took a dry gulp and scraped his name out again, this time as loud as I could muster.“Caaarson.”

His eyes shot open as he set up in a fluster. His handsome face hovered over mine, his hand brushing my cheek, grazing over the oxygen tube.“Rosie,”his face broke as he swallowed hard, searching my eyes.“Hi, baby, I’m here with you. You’re okay.”He kissed my forehead.

“W-what?”I croaked.

“Your IUD hurt you. You passed out at work, and I found you. You’ve been out of it for a while.”

I blinked hard, my eyelids rough like sandpaper. He leaned down and kissed my dry lips while holding my hand.“It hurts,”I whispered, a sting spreading in my head and a dull ache in my abdomen. I licked my lips, trying towetmy mouth.

He paged a nurse, never releasing my hand. I got a giant mug of water, more meds, and fewer blankets to cool off. I dipped back into a dull sleep. It wasn’t like in the movies. There weren’t any long discussions or dramatic doctors explaining I had amnesia, only bleak, numb nothingness.

I woke up again. Carson was sitting by the bed, watching me. The slanted sunbeam through the window lit his honey-sage eyes as dark shadows hung below them and stray stubble speckled around his beard. I had never seen him this weary.

He kissed my hand and squeezed it.“Hey baby,”his low voice murmured.

“Hi,”I squeezed his hand back. This time, I sat up and drank by myself. After acclimating to being awake, I stopped him from paging a nurse.“Wait, talk to me.”I blinked slowly, willing myself to sober.“My IUD?”

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