Page 42 of Secret Baby for My Protector

“I…I don't know." The idea has hardly had time to sink in since I found out a few minutes ago. I’m not really in the best position to have a kid. I’m not even done with college yet and only have a part-time job. Everything is still happening all at once.

But every time I even think about getting rid of the child, my chest clenches, and I feel slightly nauseous. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Liam sighs. “Alright. How far along are you?”

"Um…I think just five weeks?" The anxiety of a missed period last week was what caused me to check.

“Ok. In that case, you still have some time to decide. Think about it, long and hard because having a kid is no joke. Especially when you’re as young as you are."

"Alright. I will.”

“And Mia…. whatever decision you make, I’m going to be here for you.”

My eyes widen. “Really?”

“Of course, really. I’m your big brother.” He sounds almost insulted by the question. “What on earth do you take me for?”

Despite the chaos, I can't help but smile. “I know. But I just…I expected a lot more yelling with the support.”

He snorts. “Oh, trust me. The yelling's coming after the shock goes away. It’s not just going to be directed at you, either.”

I feel guilty. “Don’t go after Billy, Liam. He didn’t know, either."

"Well, then he’s going to hear it from me."

“No!” I blurt out. “I mean…I’m going to tell him myself. I need to. If I plan on keeping the baby that is.”

Liam’s quiet for a few minutes. “Fine. But for now, try and get some sleep. It's almost midnight. We'll worry about everything else in the morning."

"Thanks, Liam. And I love you.” It’s not a phrase that’s said a lot between us. It's not because we don’t love each other. It’s just that it's so understood that we often don’t need to say it at all.

"Yeah yeah, love you too.”

It took me a few days to decide I was keeping the pregnancy. And then after that, I told Liam that Billy and I got back together and decided to make long-distance work. I felt guilty about the lie, especially since Billy didn't even know I was pregnant, but without it, Liam would’ve tracked Billy down and dragged him back himself. The Billy lie continued from then on, and now it seems to have gotten out of hand.

I thought I would have more time.

But now I see I don’t. The lie has me in its chokehold and I need to set myself free. For me and for Chase.

And for Luke too.

Luke hasn’t broached the topic again, ever since I asked for the time to get my feelings and my head in order. The truth though, is that I don’t need to get my head in order. There’s nothing between Billy and me, not since we broke up. But revealing that lie is a coverup to a bigger lie, one that is going to splinter both of our lives entirely.

And I’m not ready for it. I need time. A week, just a week to prepare myself, and then I'll do it.

And he's going to hate me for it.

I hear the coughing as I walk down the hall, heading to Chase's room. I pause in my step, then take two steps back, heading to Mikey’s room. I knock briefly on the door before pushing it open. “Mikey. Honey, are you ok?”

Mikey looks up at me and nods. He’s currently perched on his bed, hunched over an iPad. At my appearance, he slips off the bed and heads to me, stopping when he’s standing in front of me. Eyes averted, he hands me the iPad.

On the screen are the instructions to make yoghurt-filled donuts. I smile.

“You want to make those?” I ask and he nods and coughs again. This time it sounds throatier and slightly wetter. I frown and I hold out my hand, moving slowly, so as not to startle him. Mikey doesn’t move away until I press the back of my hand to his forehead, feeling the heat underneath.

“You’re warm," I tell him. “I think you’re getting sick.”

He shakes his head fervently, eyes on the iPad, gesturing to it.

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