Page 10 of I Saw Krampus Kissing Ms Claus

“And the Cheer?” Krampus asks.

“The Cheer comes in through the refinery in the rear of the warehouse, we sort out the ‘good will’ and ‘happy holiday’. That shouldn’t end up here but sometimes they get through the Christmas filter. Those get sorted into the bins for the other holiday deities. But the Cheer gets tallied, loaded up into the pneumatic tubes and deposited directly into the silos every other day.” She gestures to one corner of the warehouse, where glittering dust enters from the roof and is being auto-sorted by a complicated series of weights and measures. “Sometimes twice a day when the Christmas season begins to really pick up.”

“And Christmas season has been starting earlier and earlier.” I say, “It’s more work every year.”

“Pretty soon, July won’t be your slow season anymore.” Krampus snorts. The little elf looks stricken at the idea. “I didn’t realize you had so much going on up here in Christmas Town.” Krampus leans over to poke at the materials on one of the storage shelves.

“We’ve expanded,” I say. “A lot has changed in the past couple centuries.”

“Not that much has changed.” He says with a grin that shows far too many teeth.

By the end of the completely unnecessary tour Snickerdoodle has led us back to her office and she perches at the edge of her chair looking up at us with a nervous smile.

Krampus wraps a hand around my upper arm and pulls me to the hallway. “The little elf is guilty of something.”

“She’s probably just nervous that you are questioning her.”

“No, I wanted the tour so I could see if she calmed down. But, she’s got so much guilt dripping off her aura, I can practically taste it.” His forked tongue flicks out of his mouth and across his lips.

“Gross.” I scrunch my nose and he smirks at me. “What would she do with Christmas Cheer? No one can use it for anything except for Santa and I.”

“And me.” Krampus smiles.

“But why would she steal it?” I ignore his flirty grin.

“I didn’t say she stole it, I said she feels guilty.”

“Fine.” I narrow my eyes, glancing through her open office door at the elf. She wrings her hands in her lap, she looks guiltier than a kid who’s found their stash of Christmas presents. “What should we do? Question her?”

“Good cop, bad cop?” Krampus asks.

“Bad cop.” I point to myself.

“I’m the good cop?”

“She’s met me, she knows I’m not a good cop.”

Krampus snorts half a laugh and nods.

“Snickerdoodle. Is there any way that the Cheer could be tampered with before going into the tubes?” Krampus pokes his head into the elf’s office.

“No! No! I don’t know what could have happened to it.”

“And it all suddenly went missing at one time.” Krampus says.

“Yes, I think so, yes.”

“What do you mean you ‘think’ so?” I ask firmly. “According toyournotes that’s what happened. This isyourhandwriting isn’t it?” I slide the document across the table.

“Well yes! That’s my handwriting.” She squeaks. “It has to be, I’m the only one who does the silo audits.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about. We’re just trying to understand what happened, anything you can remember would be helpful to us.” Krampus lowers himself into a tiny chair so that he’s eye level with the elf. It’s not an unfunny scene, his knees folded nearly to his shoulders. Then he smiles, and to my shock it’s a genuinely comforting sight. Warm and friendly, without any of his sharp teeth even showing. “You aren’t in trouble or anything.”

“You might be in trouble.” I pace the room behind Krampus. “If we can’t figure out who took the Cheer, we’ll have to replace it somehow.”

“Replace it? How?” Snickerdoodle’s eyes dart between me and Krampus as her eyebrows raise so high they disappear into her bangs.

“Someone will have to go with Krampus and figure out how to make up the difference.” I say, tapping the paper. “Up inhislair.”

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