Page 11 of I Saw Krampus Kissing Ms Claus

“I wouldn’t take anyone who didn’t offer to come with me.” Krampus says. His words are comforting but he leans forward in a way that Snickerdoodle must consider menacing because the elf’s lip quivers, her eyes start filling with water.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what happened! We’ve just been so overrun lately. I didn’t mean to get so far behind, I didn’t realize.” Her head falls into her hands.

“Didn’t realize what, sugarplum?” Krampus asks.

“I haven’t checked on the Cheer levels for months!” She wails.

“Months!” I exclaim.

“The Cheer could have gone missing at any time! I’m supposed to check it every week, but I forgot! And then I didn’t have time, and all of a sudden I realized I hadn’t even looked at it since we got swamped with our Christmas in July audit, and I’m just so sorry Ms. Claus, so, so sorry. We’re just so busy and Ginger had her batch of elflings last quarter and we are just drowning here and I am so sorry I lied to you Ms. Claus!” Tears glitter down her plump cheeks. “It’s all my fault, but I should have just admitted it! And you cannot send me up to the Krampus lair! You can’t! You can’t! I promise I don’t know where it is!”

“Tell me then, what else isn’t cataloged correctly?”

The elf sniffs and points to a stack of binders that is nearly as tall as she is and mutters. “Tinsel through Yorkshire Pudding.”

“All of this?” I yell.

The elf breaks down into even harder tears.

Krampus looks at me with wide pleading eyes. Now we know who the real bad cop is. I briefly entertain the idea of forcing him to drag a crying elf back to his lair but when Snickerdoodle wipes a tear from her cheek my heart melts.

“It’s alright, Snickerdoodle.” I force myself to say, she sniffs and looks up at me. “I didn’t realize you were so shorthanded. This isn’t entirely your fault.”

“I’m sorry Ms. Claus, I should have said something, but I didn’t want to disappoint Santa!”

“Of course you didn’t.” I sigh, “No one wants to disappoint Santa. I will take care of this. Give me the reports, you go home, take a few days off.”

“But, it’s only a couple days ‘til Christmas we still need to—”

“Do not come back to work until the new year. We’ll talk then. And I’ll finish your inventory report.”

Snickerdoodle sniffs a few more times before collecting her belongings and fleeing the room.

Krampus leans back in his tiny chair. “I believed you could be a bad cop, but I’m impressed that you made her cry.”

“She’s overworked. Like so many of us are. I’ll get her some extra hands next year, this is too much work for a couple of elves.” I release a long breath. The stack of binders looms in front of me. I’m already overwhelmed, and she’s doing more work than one elf should be, so naturally I offered to pick up her slack. “Should I drive you home? Before I get started on all this?”

Krampus picks up a binder. “I’m not going to leave you here to figure this out alone, I said I’d help you figure this out, and I’m here, so I’ll help.”

“It’s going to be very boring.” I warn him.

“Not with me around.” He smirks.

ChapterFive

I’M NOT GOING TO TURN down help with a dusty, mind-numbingly dull job, so I pass the binder marked ‘Tinsel->Turtledoves’ to Krampus and set to work. It takes us several hours, and the night is late by the time we are even finished organizing the inventory sheets. I sent Comet and Prancer home hours ago to get unharnessed and dressed down.

Krampus is sprawled across the ground, his hairy legs nearly obscured by open binders. The elf furniture is a bit too small for him to manage. So his back is to the wall, his hands busy with something I can’t see.

He doesn’t need to be here, still he’s been sitting in an uncomfortable position on the ground for several hours, just because I need help. The sight tugs at my heartstrings. He looks up from his work and catches my gaze. His golden eyes light up and he smiles a bright boyish grin. Shooting me right back to childhood, when my unrequited crush ruled every waking moment. Although now it seems the crush was requited.

“I think this is enough for tonight.” I say, standing up to stretch my weary muscles. “We aren’t going to get it all done tonight. Thanks for all your help.”

“Of course, Nikki.” Krampus climbs to his feet and waits while I organize all the binders into a neat pile to be dealt with tomorrow. “Sorry we didn’t figure out where your Cheer went.”

“There’s always tomorrow.” I say.

“Yeah. What time are you picking me up?”

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