Page 5 of I Saw Krampus Kissing Ms Claus

“Who’s pulling it?” He asks eagerly. “Prancer! Comet!” He practically jumps for joy, running over to the reindeer to greet them enthusiastically. Giving Prancer a snout nuzzle and a rump scratch, then grabbing Comet’s antlers and giving them a gentle tussle.

The reindeer snort and paw at the ground when they see him, clearly pleased with his appearance.

“They only greet me that enthusiastically when I have snacks.” I mutter.

“Yes, but they get to see you every day. I’m a special treat.” Krampus’s eyes flash. “We’re off then?”

“Can’t you take your own sleigh? Or ride a moose or something.”

“Oh come on Sain—Nikki, my shit doesn’t fly like yours does.”

“It’s Santa’s sleigh, not mine.”

“It’s both of yours and you know it.” He crosses his arms and leans easily against the back of the sleigh, his biceps flexing and his tail flicking behind him. His eyes glitter with a fire that’s always made it hard for me to deny him what he asks for. Another reason I’ve been avoiding him for so long.

“Fine.” I mutter, not wanting to prolong this interaction with further arguments. He squeezes into the seat beside me. It’s a two-seater, but between my wide ass and his thick thighs, there’s no space between us. His leg brushes up against mine. I should have protested harder, I wasn’t expecting this kind of proximity when I acquiesced.

“Comfortable?” He asks, drumming his fingers along his knees, his shoulders scrunched into his body as he attempts in vain to give me more space.

“I’m fine.” I insist and crack the reins.

Krampus lets out a boyish whoop of joy as the reindeer start to move and their magic helps the sleigh leave the ground. The cold wind hits us in the face, the humidity heavy in thin air as we climb altitude.

“Ugh, I always loved flying.” Krampus remarks, leaning just far enough over the side of the sleigh to make me nervous.

“Be careful, you lump of coal! Before you fall and break your tailbone.” I tug on the waistband of his pants and he whirls around on me with fire in his eyes.

“Oh come on Nikki! Open her up!” He laughs loud and gestures to the sleigh.

“No.” I grumble.

“Don’t you want to get some wind in your hair?” He nudges me with his elbow.

“No.” I repeat.

“You know the reindeer are capable of so much more than this,” He feigns trying to take the reins from me.

“Krampus. Enough.” I say.

“On Prancer! On Comet!” He yells into the wind.

Thankfully, the deer don’t listen.

“You used to love racing sleighs when we were little.” He taps the dent in his nose.

“I’m not a little girl anymore.” I mutter with a twinge of regret in my stomach. I was there the day he’d gotten in that accident. It was partially my responsibility when his sleigh careened out of control.

“No. I guess you aren’t.” His tone hits a more serious timbre that makes me aware of the heat seeping through my leggings from his leg. “Where to?”

“The place where you start any investigation. The scene of the crime.”

ChapterThree

THE CHEER SILOS SIT ON the north end of Christmas Town. Each is ten stories tall and two hundred feet around at the base. They rise out of the ground, green and conical, like someone thought making them into the shape of trees would disguise them. Each has a lit circular staircase that climbs the outside like Christmas lights up the side. Krampus crouches beside me on the narrow walkway to examine the indicator.

“This is all that’s missing?” The little red pointer of the gauge sits just a few notches right of due north.

“I know that a six percent difference on one silo doesn’t seem like a lot, but that’s almost one percent of our total and it makes an enormous difference. We count on every collected gram, and a missing one percent is one percent of houses that Santa won’t be able to travel to. That’s one out of every hundred households, across the entire universe. Someone will wake up on Christmas and know that Santa wasn’t there.”

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