Page 92 of Shattered Diamonds

“He already has.” Her voice is so disconnected. I watch a tear slip from the corner of her eye and hope it burns her cheek just as bad as the bullet in my chest. I want her to feel my pain as I feel hers.

We hold each other’s gaze. Mine heavy, hers fading into an oblivion of unknown. A blank stare taking over the light that was there just hours ago. “Luca, put her in the SUV.” My voice harsh and demanding. The lack of blood in my system is becoming a nuisance. I’m bleeding out and the stubborn side of me doesn’t care because I need to make sure she gets in the vehicle with me.

I lay my head back against the headrest. To my right, I see Luca forcefully shove Cillian back a few steps as he places Haven in the seat beside me. Liquid pools of sadness wash down her face from behind a blank stare. The shock of it all is hitting her system hard. Just as my gaze is becoming too heavy to keep open, I hear the squeak of leather. She’s adjusting her numb body in the seat while Luca latches the seatbelt around her. The door slams. Silence surrounds us for as long as it takes for Luca to sit behind the wheel. Her scent fills my senses with each shallow inhale. I hold my arm up, fighting against the pain as best I can to get Luca’s attention. “Unlatch her.” The leather from the front seat protests his rash movements. The click of her belt releasing sounds around the vehicle. I hold my arm up once again and wait. The warmth of her body curling into mine fuels me.

We’re silent a moment before she admits, “I hate you.”

“You going to try and kill me again, firefly?” I weakly grin as I glance down at her head resting on my bloody chest.

“I should.”

Her voice is sad, distant, but her eyes betray her soft voice. What was once the palest green eyes I have ever looked into are now vibrant green, glowing with the color only I’ve been privileged to see when I bring her to orgasm. My firefly. What am I to do? “Yeah, you should.”

Haven is the epitome of what I lost deep down in my soul throughout the years. She is wholesome and fresh, untarnished by scarred hands. She was a virgin in white with no blemishes to speak of until arrangements were made for her to come into my life. I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in signs either. What I do believe in is cold hard facts. I signed a contract to marry a girl who fits me perfectly. She is a submissive that flawlessly fits in my structured need to dominate.

Those are the last thoughts I have before the light inside me drastically dims. I close my eyes and squeeze her body into mine as I start to fade. A firm hand covers my chest wound, stopping more blood from being spilt. It’s a comforting blanket to my depleting body. The last thing I hear from the sweetest voice I’ve ever had the pleasure to listen to before I fully pass out is my wife saying…

“I’m sorry.”

ChapterThirty-One

HAVEN

I wakein a room that feels unfamiliar. Except for the small amount of moonlight shining through the partially open curtains, it’s dark and mysterious. Though, somehow, I know I’m in Demetri’s home.

I take a deep breath and roll onto my side, thinking about how I got here. I realize by the heaviness and the effort it’s taking to open my eyelids as I repeatedly blink that I’m drained of energy. I feel almost as if I was drugged. I remember up until the point the adrenaline crashed and so did I on the drive to wherever Luca was taking us. I don’t remember anything after that. I stare off at the sliver of light forcing its way through the crack in the drapes. It takes a few minutes for me to get to my unsteady feet. Movement next to me makes me freeze in my spot. I slowly turn back, adjusting my vision to the darkness on the opposite side of the bed. It’s hard to see him, but Thor sits at attention waiting on my next move. His presence brings a sorrowful smile to my lips.

“Hey, buddy.” I sit back down on the edge and wait for him to come to me. “Did they send you in here to keep an eye on me?” I run my hand over his silk fur. “I almost killed your daddy last night, buddy.” I lean in and kiss his prickly cheek. He gives my face a lick and nuzzles my hand before his nose jabs at my chest. He sniffs me, poking his snout hard into my flesh and then forcefully breathes out a snort. I push him off and give him a kiss, but he is insistent and comes right back to my chest area. Panic sets in as I scratch Thor’s ear, trying to pacify him and myself as I collect my thoughts. Demetri may have died while I was asleep. Would Luca or someone let me know? Would they wake me if he was taking his last breath? No. Why would they? I am the one who would have caused his life to end. And even though he said he wanted to take care of me himself, and asked for leniency from Mr. Heart, if he has died, his request would be void and I would no longer be breathing.

I get to my feet and take small steps across the room, unfamiliar with the layout of furniture placement. I walk with unsteady strides. I open the door slowly, not knowing what to expect on the other side. I glance around and see it’s just a hallway. It’s quiet and dark, just like the room. Thor is right on my heels as I make my way to where I think Demetri’s room is located on the other side of his home. His place is vast, and I’ve never really explored it in the limited amount of time I’ve spent here. My progress halts when I hear voices. All men. I’m curious to know who they are, but more interested in what they are saying. I tip toe a little more, staying as quiet as best I can with a two-hundred-pound dog beside me. I can only make out a little of what they are saying.

“She needs to be taken care of. No woman should be allowed to shoot her husband, a made man no less and get away with it. Why was she not taken to purgatory? You should have let her be given to the Russian. What I wouldn’t do to her before putting a bullet between her eyes.”

When I have heard enough, and my heart can take no more, I turn away and continue my path toward Demetri’s room. My irrational thoughts have me packing a bag and making my way out through the basement. Even Demetri pulling me into his body last night in the car doesn’t make me feel safe with these men around.

The door to his room is closed. I stand at the threshold a minute before slowly opening it, unsure of what I’ll find inside. I make it a foot before I stop and take it all in. A soft light illuminates from the corner of the room. It’s quiet, and the desperation I’m feeling is torturing me. My attention goes to the one thing that has me feeling disconcerted. Demetri. My husband. The man I pledged my life to. He lays in his bed, the same foundation he lays his head on at night to rest. The place he took my virginity in, is still and lying on his back. White bandages with red stains are patched over his upper chest holding him together. No movement from a man who I’ve only ever known too never be stagnant.

He is alive. I expel a deep, relieved breath.

I relax my weak body up against the frame of the door and watch his chest rise and fall with each healing breath I was so close to stealing from him.

How would I feel right now if I walked in here and his bed was empty?

What would I do if he hadn’t lived?

The feelings that come with those thoughts snare the muscle in my chest, constricting my air and making me feel queasy. As I observe his silence, I can’t help but notice how ruggedly handsome he is. He is so raw and intimidating even in stillness. Even with pale skin from the loss of blood and his hair mussed up along with the hole I put in his chest, Demetri is the sexiest man I have ever seen. I’m drawn to him, and I can’t help but wish we met under different circumstances. Organically. Not arranged as I now know it to be. Now I have a husband that has the right to murder me with his bare hands if he so chooses. In the real world, that would be unacceptable, but in the world I was raised in, it’s acceptable. Because in the eyes oftheirlaw, women are beneath them. Servants to their husbands and caregivers to their offspring. If I go by what Demetri said earlier in the alley when everyone expressed their desire to take care of me themselves, he said he wants to be the one to handle me. As per the words of the men in the other room, he should torture me before doing so.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know that I am not going to be a victim in this fucked up lifestyle. My life is just that. Mine. I won’t let anyone else take it from me.

“Come here, Haven.”

His groggy voice startles me. I jump to both feet, now standing at attention and fully awake as I stare in his direction.

“Close the door and get over here.”

My brain has a mind of its own. My feet shuffle inside and close the door.

Just as it latches, he orders, “Lock it.”

---