Page 106 of Lucky Shot
“Is this you talking, or the bad memories?” I ask.
He pauses and then says, “Both, I think. It takes me no time to get winded when we’re just kicking the ball in the backyard.”
“Why did you decide to play again?”
Roux sighs. “I don’t know. It feels good. Like I have a purpose or something.”
It’s on my tongue to ask him when he met the man not actually named Trevor. Did this asshole influence him from the beginning of his senior year? Is he the reason Roux stopped playing?
But I don’t ask. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Gabe still there?”
“Yeah.” His voice is quiet. “I know I should tell him to go home, but… I like his company.”
“I’m not going to lecture you about this,” I tell him. “You’re both adults.”
A door closes and then he says, “I’m being selfish. I know that. And I keep telling him that. I keep telling him I’m not looking for anything serious. I just need someone to distract me and keep me company. Maybe say nice things to me.”
My stomach flips and, once again, anger surges through me.
“He does those things and I know it’s not fair to him, but… I just… don’t want to be alone and I want comfort and stuff. Do you think I’m a shitty person?”
“No,” I say immediately and then try to consider his question unbiasedly. I can’t, of course. He’s my brother and I know what he’s been through. “Again, you’re both adults and you’ve been communicating clearly, right?”
“Yes. I swear I have.”
“I believe you. Then I think right now it’s his choice to be there as much as it is yours.”
He takes a deep breath and a quiet moment passes. “So… you’re going to be there for a while longer?”
I smile. “Yes. You want to come out?”
There’s hesitation before he says, “I don’t want to impose on you and Noah.”
“I’m not inviting you to share a room, Roux. I love you dearly, but we’re not that close.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to get in your way. I love that you finally found someone that makes you happy.”
“Book your flight, Roux. Text me the details and I’ll have a room for you here. Same floor. No connecting door. Okay?”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Is Gabe joining you?”
Again, he hesitates. “Yes,” he says, sighing. I can tell he’s frustrated with himself, but I can’t give him what someone else can. The comfort from a brother isn’t the same as the comfort from a lover.
“Go book your flight. I’ll see you when you get here.” I wait until I hear the phone shuffle on the other end before hanging up.
I stare at his face on my phone before the screen goes to sleep.
“Is he okay?” Pretty asks.
“He will be, I think. He’s not making reckless decisions or hiding or… I’m really proud of what he’s got lined up. But I’m getting really worried about when he goes back to school and our season starts. I can’t just fly him to me when he’s having a rough time. And I can’t go to him.”
“What about Gabe?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Roux’s very aware that he’s messing with a man’s feelings, even though he’s been very forthcoming—from what he says—about where he’s at. And I have to think Gabe will get back to his game, eventually.”
“I’m not even sure why he’s out this season,” Pretty says. “I didn’t think to ask.”
