Page 107 of Lucky Shot
“How considerate of us,” I muse. He gives me a grin. Wrapping my hand around his ankle, I smile in return. “Well, since you’ve now caught your breath, join me in the shower?”
“Fuck, yes,” he says, and suddenly, he’s full of energy again.
THIRTY-TWO
NOAH
While I had wantednothing more than to spend entire days just wrapped up in Demi, holed up in our room, I can admit that I loved every single minute of being out in the world with him. He’s right. We travel constantly and rarely have enough time to actually see any of the places we visit. Even now, we’re back in Florida and I’m still reliving every minute Demi and I spent together.
There was a single very surreal moment as we were standing on the precipice of Red Rock and looking over the cityscape below us. Demi had his arms wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder, and together we took in the view. There were other people around but, at that moment, everything fell away, and it was just us.
I could feel his heartbeat against my back. His breath brushed my chin. His arms held me securely to him, like he never wanted to let me go.
And I thought,this is one of the feelings I will never forget for as long as I live.The feeling of someone wanting to share this experience with me. Me! He wants me in his memory of this adventure. I will forever be there, in his arms, as we look out on the world below us.
I almost choked up because I’ve never experienced that. And if I’m honest, I think there was a part of me that never thought I would. I might’ve found a partner and maybe settled just so I could have someone to love me. And maybe he’d compromise and do some of these things with me when I suggested it.
But I kind of thought there would always be the expectation that we were only doing things like this because we were supposed to. That’s what couples do. That’s how they’re supposed to live.
Never, for one second, had I thought that someone would actuallywantto do this with me.
Demi does. I can feel that as much as I can see it. It’s in the way he always has his hands on me, helping me up a rock I don’t need help with, but does so because that’s who he is. He wants to help me. He wants to make sure I’m by his side.
As much as I can’t keep my hands off him, I’m so fucking relieved he appears to have the same problem. We’re always touching. Even if it’s light, gentle touches. Sometimes just our pinkies are linked when we’re standing in line. Sometimes, like on the top of Red Rock, we’re completely wrapped around each other. But we’re always touching.
My conversation with Loren about love languages pings in my head as I sit in the back of the car with Demi. Our hands are linked. His thumb rubs soothingly on the back of my hand. I had said my love language is affirmation and that I’m touch starved, so that’s why I was craving touch. But now, I wonder if maybe it’s a bit of both.
I don’t know if I need his touch because it’s another kind of affirmation or if I’ve just lived without it for so long that I’m soaking it up now. It’s never enough. I need his hands on me all the time.
His phone pings, the sound pulling me out of reminiscing of our recent trip, and he fishes it out. The light of it brightens the backseat and he flicks it on. “It’s Sid,” he says as he types back. “He lives just down the road from me. Having a gathering before the season starts. Want to come with me?”
I bite the inside of my lip and look out the window. We’re in a rideshare heading back to my house. We’d gone to a wine tasting and didn’t want to chance having too much to drink.
We’ve been bouncing between our houses for the last couple weeks, depending who had what going on. We stopped back in Edmonton for a night. A single night. Just because he had to make an appearance at an animal refuge that he’s been helping raise money for. Then we flew down to Miami so I could do the same kind of thing but with a food bank.
We stayed in Florida because I have another engagement coming up. Roux and Gabe are here, though they don’t hang around us much. It seems that Roux just likes having someone he knows and trusts close by. Just in case he does need someone. I don’t think Gabe is that person.
Though, having observed them, I definitely think Gabe wants to be that person.
“When is it?” I ask.
“Just before training. Last weekend of August.”
I nod absently and can’t think of a reason not to go. “Can I be honest?”
Demi levels me with a look. “I’m never giving you permission to be dishonest, so yes.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “I don’t think he likes me. I’m not sure it’s a good idea if I go.”
“Weird, but I kind of picked up on that too.” He frowns. “Have you two had a run in?”
The look I give him makes him laugh. “I’ve never had a run in with anyone, Demi. I’m not that kind of guy.”
He nods. “I know. Which is why I’m perplexed.”
“I’ll go if you want me to, but maybe you should take your brother instead. I’ll hang with Gabe for a while.”
Demi frowns, nodding. He turns his attention back to his phone and types something out. I don’t know what his answer is to that, and I don’t ask. I watch as he stares at his screen. Waiting for a response, maybe?
