Page 30 of Lucky Shot
“Yes. I know what everyone says. Poor pretty boy gets tired of all the attention. But that’s just it. All they see is my face. I’m never actuallyseen.”
“I know,” he says. “Just a minute ago, I was having a conversation with some guy, and out of nowhere, he wants to go back to his room. Like he reached some kind of quota on how much discussion he needed to reach and suddenly it’s okay to ask for a fuck.”
“You ever get the idea that just because you’re here and presumably single, that it means you’reobviouslydown to fuck?” I ask.
Elixon snorts. “Yes. I feel like that’s the story of my life. Professional athlete. We’re all players because we can have whoever we want.”
I groan. “Ugh. For real. We lose the label of human being once we have our name in the tabloids. Now we’re just…”
“Snacks.”
I snort and shake my head. “Yes! It’s stupid.”
“It’s life,” he says, shrugging. “I don’t hate my hand in life. I’ve lived a pretty fortunate existence. Maybe my own cards are stacked against me.”
The words resonate with me. He’s right. I’ve lived a privileged life, too. I even have the luck to be considered attractive by most. But one man’s luck can be another’s misfortune. It’s not that I want to be ugly, but if I were less of what people thought of as pretty, they’d be forced to look atme.To see I’m more than a face. I’m more than hockey. More than just another gay guy trying to find their way.
“One time, someone actually told me that I’m obliged to be a playboy because I’m hot and rich,” I say. “They literally used that to try to get me into bed.”
Elixon looks at me with a raised brow. “I’ve heard that. They add in professional athlete to the mix every once in a while. And since I’m single, obviously I’m game to fuck anyone with a pulse.”
“We can’t all be Max,” I say, making Elixon laugh. “Once, a guy who was bringing me my drink—a waiter—tried to convince me that he deserved a tip for doing so and his preference was head. Like… you are literally doing your job. This is your job.”
“Did you tip him?”
“No. Not with cash or dick service,” I snort.
He chuckles. “Last time we were here, I met a couple and, no joke, we were talking all day. I even started out the conversation that I’m demi, so I’m not looking for sex. They seemed totally cool with it. I’m not kidding you when I say we talked all day. Like ten hours. When I told them I was tired and going to head back to the yacht, they invited me to their room. I remind them I’m demi. ‘Yeah, but we talked all day. You know us now,’ was their response.” He looks at me with a bland expression. “It doesn’t work that way.”
I shake my head. “Can I ask… how does it work for you? I mean, I get the principle. I know the definition. But I don’t know that I’ve ever talked to someone who identifies as demisexual. I mean, not who I’ve known is.”
“Really, I’m not different from the textbook definition. I don’t feel sexual attraction to someone unless I have an emotional bond with them first. I don’t desire sex without feeling attracted to someone. That doesn’t mean I can’t or haven’t done the whole casual sex thing. It’s just not as enjoyable or fulfilling for me. When it comes to getting off, most of the time, I’d rather take care of it myself than find a random guy.”
“You mind if I ask a question? I promise I’m not judging.”
Elixon chuckles. “I would rather people ask questions than make assumptions.”
“Is it any kind of emotional bond? Or, like, a romantic emotional bond? Something else?”
“So… yeah, definitely the emotional kind of bond, but that’s not to say that a friendship bond couldn’t shift over time. For instance, we’ve known each other for years. Casually. We’re friendly enough. And I guess you’re cute enough.”
I snort. He smirks at me as he continues.
“If you and I spend time together and really get to know each other, if we click on a deeper level and I become emotionally drawn and invested in you, the idea that you’re cute enough might just blow up completely and I could turn into any other guy with sexual hunger. But only because I’m now connecting with you in a different way. So while I was more or less just aesthetically attracted to you—I find you cute enough based on appearance and maybe personality—it would likely change to physical and romantic attraction.”
“You’ve done this in the past?” I ask.
“Had a boyfriend with feelings?” he asks, amused.
I laugh. “Sorry. That sounds kind of judgmental.”
Elixon chuckles. “Yeah, I’ve had a couple.”
“And… you’ve grown apart? You lose your emotions concerning him? Does your sexual attraction just disappear?”
His grin says he finds me amusing. “Two of the three, yes. We grew apart. I’m not sure this is demi-centric, but yeah. When I fell out of love, my desire for him in any capacity faded away. I think that’s generally the case all the way around, though.”
“What about the third?” I ask.
