Page 32 of Lucky Shot
“He has some growing up to do first?”
“He has some healing to do first. Both emotionally and mentally. I think he feels out of place being thrust into a group of big, muscly athletes, which makes him feel extra small and… less.”
I frown. “He’s fucking adorable.”
“Tell him that,” Elixon says. “Don’t hit on him, but just tell him that, please. I think he needs to hear it. Coming from your brother is just weird.”
My laughter is accompanied by snorts, and I cover my mouth, which only makes Elixon laugh. For another minute, we watch the fireworks together. I’m very aware how close we’re standing and maybe for the first time, I recognize that he’s… a lot more than how I always thought of him.
Not that my opinion of Elixon was ever bad. I’ve always thought he was a nice guy. But he tends to keep his distance, though now I think I understand why. This little peek into who he is feels like I was just given a treat.
“Thanks for walking back with me,” I say.
Elixon looks at me, a brow raised. “I was heading this way already. So, thankyoufor walking back withme.”
I grin. “Made us both less pathetic.”
He shrugs. “While I agree, I’ve stopped feeling the pressure to hook up a long time ago. I’ve accepted that it’s just not who I am.”
“Same! It was one of the most freeing decisions I’ve ever made.” I sigh and close my eyes, feeling the warm breeze across my skin. Even during the nighttime hours, the breeze is still warm.
“Very much.” He pauses for a minute. “I always wonder if Max will make that decision one day.”
“You think he is the way he is because of expectations that he be a fuckboy?” I ask.
Elixon shrugs and shakes his head at the same time. “Not necessarily. I think there’s definitely something that drives him to keep acting out the way he does. I think he’s lying to everyone, including himself, that he enjoys it.”
“That’s deep,” I say.
He gives me a crooked smile. “I observe a lot. There are moments when he doesn’t think anyone is watching and lets the mask fall. Max Latham is covered in cracks that he’s carefully concealed with this larger-than-life reckless persona.”
We remain on the deck until the fireworks finish. Then we go our separate ways. For just a second, I get the weird feeling that one of us issupposed toask the other to bed. I even pause to look at him at his door, as if I’m waiting for it. The amused look he gives me makes me feel like he probably feels it, too.
But I shut myself in my room alone and… it feels good to have not been propositioned tonight. It makes getting laid easy when I’m in the mood, but I find I’m less horny these days because I know why people want me and it’s not me they want. There’s something off-putting about it.
Elixon is right. Taking care of it myself is more enjoyable because I know why someone wants me when they ask. It has nothing to do withme. Just everything I represent.
It’s exhausting. It makes me wish more and more that I could just wear a mask that hides exactly everything that I am. Just be me. And then see who I meet.
Like a tall, sweet, god-like druid who exists only in my game.
ELEVEN
ELIXON
It’s not super latewhen I get into my room but I’m so damn tired from the lack of sleep last night and being out all day today that I contemplate not turning on my laptop. I run through the shower to get the sand and day off me and then collapse into bed.
Except that no matter how tired I am, the desire to see if Pretty is online is far too strong. So I pull myself out of bed to retrieve my laptop and then climb back in. I’m tired enough that I don’t think I can stay up all night again, but perhaps I should just say upfront that I need to get some sleep tonight.
The rush that floods my system when I see he’s online makes a stupid, silly grin split my face. Minutes go by and he doesn’t send me a message. Maybe he’s busy. Maybe he’s not really there, but just online.
I send him a shell, similar to the ones Noah has been wearing around his neck the last couple days. There’s more depth to him than I thought there was. He’s good at hiding it.
It doesn’t take long for Pretty to respond once I sent the gift.
PrettyInLace:Why are you so sweet? I can’t even with you!
DemiDefenseKip:lol I have to warn you. I’m exhausted. Probably won’t be on long tonight.
