Page 46 of Lucky Shot
“You know why,” Asher says. “You basically just said so in a previous conversation. What you want is for someone to seeyou.Not your face, not your job, not your money or class. That’s exactly what you’ve accomplished, yeah?”
My shoulders relax and I nod. “Yeah.”
“When you peel off the superficial layers, you can see all the gross mushy stuff inside,” August says.
“That started out so deep and turned kind of gross,” Kyst says.
August shrugs. “I’m not a poet.”
“Keep doing what you’re doing, man,” Ibis says. “If you really like him, then keep talking to him and don’t let us, blathering idiots, color your feelings on the situation.”
I sigh, nodding absently. The thing that I won’t admit out loud is that I’m slightly afraid of who will be on the other side. I teasingly asked if he was a serial killer but there are all kinds of other criminals and morally gray people in the world. What if he’s one of them?
What if Ibis is right and he has a life that he’s hiding? What if hedoeshave a wife and kids and he’s essentially having an online affair with me? Or a husband and kids. Whatever. Maybe just a husband. A boyfriend. I don’t want to be the other guy. I don’t want to be the reason a relationship falls apart.
But then, sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Right? It’s not that the heart can’t steer you wrong. It really fucking can. Easily. What’s the old adage? Love is blind.
Not that I’m in love with this guy that I barely know. But… I so could be. I’m already beginning to fall, and it won’t be long before the tumble I’m beginning turns into a complete free fall.
I’m as terrified of that moment as I am desperately excited to get there. This guy could be it.
I want him to be. I’m just scared of all the unknowns and getting my heart broken.
Or, you know, being killed. There’s always that possibility.
FIFTEEN
ELIXON
When I finally get home,I’m fucking exhausted. It’s late and I’m wiped. Because I didn’t think ahead of time, I had to come home just to fly back to the East Coast in a few days for a gala. If I’d have planned properly, I’d have brought my suit with me and just headed for NYC from Miami.
But even as tired as I am, as soon as I fall onto my bed after washing the airport off me, I pull out my laptop and turn it on. With nothing to do while I traveled over 3,000 miles, my mind remained locked on Pretty the entire time.
Imagining what we’d be doing if we were flying together. Would we be heading to Edmonton or maybe going to wherever he lives? Which is not something I’ve asked yet. I know he prefers the East Coast to the West because it came up in conversation. Somehow. I’m not sure how we turn off into our tangents as much as we do.
I love it, though. I love all the little things I learn about him. Like he loves tomatoes.Lovesthem. And grapes. They’re his favorite things to eat.
When I finally manage to get into the game, he’s there. I sag in relief and just smile at his name and the little green light that says he’s online. For a minute, I don’t even send him a message. I just stare at his name.
Part of me wants to tell him how he’s consumed my thoughts. There’s been very little in life that has taken so much of my brain power outside of hockey for any length of time. But he’s done it. I’m currently more obsessed with this man than I am with hockey. Which is impressive; my obsession with the sport has been the poison that’s ended more than one of my relationships.
I’m slightly in awe of this man who has made me forget hockey for days at a time. Even during an entire day that I was bored out of my mind, I wasn’t thinking of hockey to pass the time. I wasn’t looking up stats or watching past games.
I was thinking about Pretty.
A thump outside my door makes me pick up my head and my brother pops into my room. “I’m glad you’re clothed. I need something to eat. You hungry?”
I shake my head. “Nah. Go grab something. There’s money in the knife drawer. Under the organizer.”
“I have money,” Roux says, sniffing.
“I have more. Just use mine and save yours. Don’t argue.”
He huffs and turns. I don’t know if Roux will stay the entire summer with me, but he’s here now. I gave him the option of flying him home to our family, back to campus, or coming with me to Edmonton. He chose to come home with me.
I feel bad for him. My thoughts have been so focused on Pretty that I forgot he was with me most of the trip. Poor kid. And he didn’t even call me out on it. Fuck knows what he thinks I’m lost in thought about.
More than that, I know that whatever went down between him and his ex really bothers him. While he found a temporary distraction with Gabe, I don’t think they intend to carry it on. Roux hasn’t mentioned him once.
