Page 81 of Lucky Shot
While I’d really like nothing more than to put this guy through a wood chipper, I respect my brother’s wishes. If he wants to transfer, then I’ll make that happen. I don’t care what the cost is.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask enough questions when we talked,” I say, and Roux shakes his head. I brush his hair back like I used to when he was a kid and let it grow into his eyes. “From now on, we’re going to have a codeword. A phrase of some kind. Something that means you’re uncomfortable. And something that means you need my help. Okay? We’ll work it out this summer. I will never again let you get into a situation like that.”
His breath is shaky as he nods his head. “I wanted to tell you. But I wasn’t sure what he’d do if I did. I thought he’d hurt me. Then I thought he’d hurt you.”
“It would take a big fucking person to hurt me, Roux.”
“I know,” he says, laughing. It sounds watery. “I know it was my fear of him transferring where it didn’t belong. Iknowhe can’t hurt you. But back then… I thought he could.”
I kiss his forehead and pull us back down to the bed. Bringing my blankets up, I wrap them around my baby brother, as I have so many times before I left for college. Then I hold him tight. “What do you need right now?”
Roux shakes his head. “Just this. I needed to tell someone, and I knew it was you I wanted to tell. I’ve been… working up to it.”
As I rage between fury and sorrow and frustration, my breaths are likely just as uneven as his are.
“Do you think I can invite Gabe over for a while?” he asks.
The request startles me enough that I kind of still. Did I hear him right? “Gabe?”
“Yeah. You know, the soccer player from the yacht?” I appreciate that he’s teasing, but I sigh anyway.
“You know he likes you, right?”
“Yes. That’s why we’re sleeping together.”
I scowl. “That’s not what I mean.”
Roux sighs. “I told him I wasn’t interested in anything else,” he says, frustrated. “I can’t… I just… I don’t want anything else.”
“Do you know that he picked up on the fact that you’re struggling with a breakup? At the time, I agreed and said that I thought it was worse than you were letting on. Obviously, I had no idea to what extent. I thought maybe he cheated or something. I thought maybe you had a broken heart!”
Roux exhales. “I didn’t know I was being that obvious.”
“You weren’t. I knew you went through a breakup. And Gabe said you mentioned an ex in passing, so he guessed. He also offered to hide a body on his beach. I’m not sure he was joking.”
Roux laughs and turns his face into my shoulder.
“You can invite him here, but I think you need to reiterate to what capacity your interest lies with him. Okay?”
“I will,” he says. After a minute, he adds, “It’s not that Idon’tlike him. I just don’t trust myself right now.”
“Good. Let me know what you need for the transfer. I’ll be happy to make some calls.” Maybe I’ll do that, anyway. “I’ll help you move in. You want an apartment or to live on campus?”
Roux laughs again. He rolls to his side and wraps his arms around me. “Thank you,” he says quietly. “I really needed to tell someone. Thank you for listening.”
“Don’t ever keep anything like this to yourself again, Roux,” I say quietly. “I know that’s easier said than done, but fuck. I could have helped you!”
“I know,” he says quietly. “I know thatnow.At the time, I believed Trevor. I believed everything he said to me.”
We don’t speak about Trevor again. After a while, Roux gets his laptop, and we look at his application and essay. We fill out a transcript transfer and then send it all in, using my credit card for the application fee. When we look at their dorms and offered degrees, it becomes obvious that Roux still doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life.
Roux heads to his room after dinner and I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My phone rings and I smile when I see Pretty’s name on my screen.
“Hey, Pretty Boy,” I say quietly.
“I miss your voice,” he answers. “Everything okay?”
“How do you hire a hitman?” I muse.
