Page 29 of Blurry Little Lines

“Who is to say I haven’t already been corrupted?” I long to be looked at as desirable. Not cute and proper, but I’m really starting to believe that day will never come. “Benson wasn’t the only guy I’ve let put a dick in me.” It’s true, though my high school boyfriend wasn’t anything worth bragging about either.

“You flinched at the wordscorruptedanddick.” His lips tighten as I witness uncertainty wash across his face. “I know I explained the next move is on you, but I might be the one having second thoughts.”

My body stiffens, no longer melting into his, but still remaining against him. My hand grips tighter over the curve of his hand, where my fingers rest between his index finger and thumb. I angle my nails to dig into his skin with frustration. His eyes darken when I plaster on a sassy smirk, and square my shoulders to press my breasts into him. I watch his jaw tick with warning, but he has yet to react to my actions. Just like Max is judging me for supposedly “flinching” on words, his hot and coldness is really starting to piss me off.

“Fine.” I switch to my Office Kelsie tone in an attempt to mask the hurt in my voice. “I know I don’t scream sex appeal. I’ve accepted the best friend title.” My step falters back as I begin to step away.

“Kelsie, wait.” Max keeps a hold of my hand and spins me into him, so I’m wrapped in his arm with my back against his front.

“Did you miss me already?” The lightness in my flirty voice is the last straw before I shut myself down completely.

“It’s hard to miss something you’ve never had.” Lips brush against my ear, lighting up my body the way they did last night.

His wavering doubt about us a moment ago was enough to make me question what we are doing. He will never be mine, but my body hums to life as I feel the heat of his hand grip the fabric of my dress. My skin pebbles with sensitivity as it craves to feel his touch on my bare skin. I need the adrenaline rush my body possessed the last time we were alone in the moonlight. The feelings he ignited are begging to resurface and be put to the challenge. I want us to experience a new level of trust. I want to put faith in his skills. But my brain self-sabotages the fact I probably won’t orgasm. I don’t think I can look my best friend in the eye when he admits I’m broken.

“I should go do a round of goodbyes before I head out of here.” I step away and don’t look back. This time, he doesn’t pull me back into him.

Mingling hasn’t been as horrific as I had originally thought it would be. It also sways my mind off of Max. There have been people I have missed the past year and ended up spending a little extra time enjoying catching up with them. Max is near the doors, talking to my father, while I make my way over to the bar in need of a third glass of champagne. I know downing my third would be an un-classy chug in order to deal with the people who have tried to get my attention for gossip about my relationship status.

“Oops.” Someone bumps into me, knocking me to the side, and my damn heel breaks. “I hope that stain comes out.” Willow straightens her shoulders, wearing a sheepish smile as I look down at the red wine over my dress. Typical high school move, Willow.

“It’s not like people of my wealth wear the same outfit more than once.” I say a silent thank you to my quick wits. “Maybe I’ll request you use a sippy cup at the next event so this doesn’taccidentallyhappen to a guest.” First, it was a latte sophomore year on my favorite cashmere sweater, followed by the red shrimp sauce on my light blue dress during our senior prom. “You have quite the track record foroopsies.”

Her mouth opens and shuts as people around us turn back to their conversations from before they were interrupted by our scene. Max is by my side with a glare toward Willow and offers me his elbow to link. I collect my heels and we make a beeline to the door.

I follow his lead until he approaches the elevator. “Um, you should know me by now.” Like hell I’ll enter an elevator with him.

“You’re planning to walk up all those flights of stairs in a tight dress and a broken heel?”

“I walk in heels all the time. And I’m barefoot, moron.” I hold up my heels as he hits the elevator button.

“I promise you won’t get stuck with me.” He wears a guilty look. “I purposely stopped the elevator when you weren’t looking when we were teenagers.”

“You what?” My voice raises. “You know how petrified I was as a child. The one time I decided to take a brave chance to ride it with you, you stopped it?” There’s no excuse he can give that can prevent me from busting his balls with my heel in a second. “I have spent my life taking the stairs because of you! Why?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just know I was a moron.” He’s the one who breaks eye contact now. “Trust me when I say that it didn’t malfunction the way it did when you were nine.” The elevator opens, and he steps in. “Come. You’re safe with me.”

“Don’t break eye contact, Max Dawson.” I step forward, meeting him in the doorway of the elevator, but I keep half my body out. “Tell me. Now.”

“I saw a soap opera episode with my mom when she was in town.” He swallowed thickly. “There was a scene where a couple kissed in the elevator, and I thought it would be cool to try it out.” I watch his face turn red with embarrassment. A look he has never worn. “I was fourteen and ended up chickening out after I hit the button and saw you begin to panic.” He holds out his hand, and I bravely accept it. I’m relieved the elevator didn’t malfunction, but my brain swirls as it attempts to process this new information.

“So, my fear was a ploy to knock some lame teenage kink off of your list?” I didn’t have my first kiss until sixteen and one of the two reasons why is standing in front of me.

He and Adam were always shadowing over me when a guy showed interest.My first kiss would have been used as bragging rights and meant nothing to him. Though, I’d remain nameless because my brother would have kicked his ass. I’m thankful he chickened out because I would have easily fallen for his annoying boyish smile and sparkling blue eyes back then. It’s a good thing I’m stronger now.

“Hey, I also chickened out because I wasn’t sure if it would ruin our friendship either.” Max glances at the keypad, waiting for me to type in my code.

“And what about in the stairwell when I came home during your senior year?” I figure I may as well ask all the questions now and distract myself from this deadly moving box as we venture up the building.

“I wanted to prove to you that I could kiss better than those college guys you kept bragging about.” Max smirks. “Though, you probably only kissed one guy because you were a super shy good girl.” Max clears his throat and steps closer to me. “And again, I was a chicken.”

I vividly remember him walking up to my parents’ floor with me during my first semester home from university. I was bragging about how university guys were better than high school guys and knew how to properly kiss just because they were older. He stood a couple of stairs up and paused. Towering over me, with eyes full of dominance, he voiced how not all high school guys lack the ability to leave an older girl breathless. I wanted him to prove me wrong, but he joked in a threatening way how I wouldn’t be able to handle just one kiss from him. Then, he turned around and continued walking up the stairs.

I can control myself now. I’ve proven it with the past two kisses without feelings.

“Dammit, Max, you gave me so much crap about acting shy and being subliminal.” I turn away from him, crossing my arms, and zone in on the glowing elevator buttons. “Yet, here you are telling me how you never had the damn balls to make a move.”

“Did you want me to make the first move?” His tone is deep with masculinity, and my stubborn self refuses to answer the question he probably knows the answer to.

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