“No. No, no.” I stumble backward at the swap of our reactions. “I know you, Max. You don’t want a family of your own and never have. I respect that. How are you so calm?”
“Calm? I nearly shit myself walking to the store after dropping Mallory and James off at your parents’.” I huff as he continues. “Seriously, I had to run into my favorite coffee shop. And as I was sitting in the bathroom–”
“Stop.” What is even happening? “We don’t need to be on this level ofcomfort.”
“Oh, we have officially broken all of the barriers, Kelsie.” He chuckles and looks down at me. “It took all of ten seconds staring at that positive test in your hands to realize this world is no longer about me. It’s about a child who will rely on me to love them, guide them, and meet their needs.”
“This doesn’t mean we end up together by default.”Put your claws away, Kelsie.“People co-parent all the time. We can come up with a parenting schedule and what days you want the baby.” He stills, and his jaw ticks.
“I’m going to walk to the kitchen and grab some water so I don’t blow up at you,bestie.” He’s pissed. Very pissed, but plasters on a smile. “Would you like me to bring you back any water?”
“No.” I cross my arms against my chest.
I hear the jars in the fridge door clank as he opens and closes the fridge with aggression. Max walks back into my room as I stand in the same pose, tapping my foot. I keep quiet and raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue his rant that I know needs to clear out of his mind.
“I’m not scheduling days for when I get to see my child. I don’t want to miss a fucking moment of our baby’s life unless I abso-fucking-lutely need to be at work.” He chugs the rest of his water. “You’re not a one-night bang, or someone I barely know. I’m raising this child as much as you are.” There is no argument worthy of winning when it comes to what’s best for a child. “So, are we living at your place, or mine?” His cocky grin makes me want to slap it off if I had the energy to do so.
“Max, I’m exhausted.”
“Because your body is making another human.” He nods with giddiness.What the hell.
“Let’s try to forget about that right now. I need to sleep and to quadruple check that I actually am pregnant.” I walk into my bathroom and turn on the shower, with Max trailing behind. “Once I process all this, we can talk about living arrangements, okay?”
“Okay.” Max kisses the top of my head and turns to leave. “I’m here for you, Kelsie. You and I are a team. We always have been.” Team. I’ve heard that from Benson before, too.
You say that until you realize how much free time is sacrificed.
Benson’s words haunt me through my shower and until sleep finally saves me from another nightmare of reality.
Chapter 23
Max
Fourhourshavepassedsince I left Kelsie’s room, and you could say an obsession has taken over. My life is changing. Where I expected fear to override my thoughts and fuck this all up, it’s been the opposite. I finish my coffee and decide to do a mix of push-ups and squats to burn off my adrenaline. I don’t want to leave Kelsie’s in case she wakes and needs me for something. Okay, the woman can hold her own, but I said I was staying. My shoulders begin to burn from my handstand push-ups as Kelsie walks into the living room. The sun has nearly set, giving a glow to her skin and silky sleep dress. Whatever those lingerie nighty things are called.
She’s quiet as her brown eyes go wide with panic. Four sticks are clenched inside her tiny fists. I know they’re all positive and that she’s trying not to cry. For once, I’m stumped with how to lighten the mood. I debate wrapping her in a hug because she will more than likely fight me on it. Considering touch got us in this situation, I avoid it.
“With the calculations from your period ending prior to the gala, I think we conceived the night of the charity event.” How well I know this woman’s period cycle solidifies how damn close we are. Her forehead scrunches as her head tilts to the side. “I found another app that can predict when we created the little dumpling.”
“Dumpling?” She fights a smirk of appreciation. “How’d you come up with that?”
“Well, I dumped many loads inside you and then you baked them. Creating a dumpling.”This child already has me making cringy dad jokes.
“So…” She takes a seat on the couch beside me and huffs out a heavy breath. “This is really happening.”
“Yeah, your body is creating an organ just for the pregnancy duration and then it isn’t needed again. Do you plan to eat the placenta?”
“Have you been researching this entire time?” Her head snaps my way, unsure of my response.
“The four hours flew by. Don’t even get me started on ovulation and how the tube reaches for the egg.” I bite my tongue about the rest because I know I’m out of character and freaking her out. “You talk, you already know everything I am just starting to learn.”
“I don’t know what to say, or what to do, Max.” She sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. “I still feel like this is a terrible nightmare,” Kelsie whines.Yet this is a dream I never knew I wanted to come true.
I know her answer to my next question, but I still feel like I should run it by her. “Do you want this child?” Her neck jerks from mine as her face contorts to shock.
“Yes.” She hesitated. As she forced the yes out, my heart pinched. “I don’t want this situation, but I’m a mother, and it’s not like I’m barely scraping by with money.”
“Being able to afford a child is different than whether or not you want to lovingly nourish and raise one.” My doubt of her rejecting this child creeps in, leaving a sour taste in my mouth.