Page 56 of Dirty Dean

As she brings her arms around to the front, I notice her right hand is bloody and I trace the trail of blood upward. She’s made a knick on her arm but it’s not deep. She won’t be bleeding out.

“What have you done, buttercup?” I take a step closer to her. Fear is making me shake, but I tamper it down. She needs me right now.

She gives me a sad smile. “The start of something you have wanted the entire time. You wanted revenge on your step-brother. By God, you got it. But you thought so small-minded, Daddy.”

The giggle she gives me is sick and twisted. It’s not her. “You should have killed me, Daddy. My mother would have killed him for you. Anything that happens to her baby girl, and she will go into ballistic mode when she finds out it was for something in your past. That David had a hand in killing her baby girl.”

She lifts the knife and hands it toward me. “Go ahead, Daddy. I went back and read the contract. I have no rights. You made changes to it. The contract isn’t null until you end it completely or one of us dies. I took my signature very seriously. It’s a lifelong signature. So, go right ahead Daddy, kill me. That way you have nothing left to hold over your father and brother. Or me. It’s all just fine.”

My little one’s hand trembles and her eyes are full of sorrow. “Buttercup, this is a bit extreme don’t you think?”

Jasmine sways, and the knife drops to the floor. “Coward’s way out then.” Goddamn it, she produces the pill bottle. “They are for depression. But enough of them will put me into a coma, and I won’t have to face anyone else. Ever.”

I jump into action and slap the bottle out of her hand, and she looks up at me. “You are not killing yourself, and I’m not going to murder you. Pull yourself together.” I shake her and know my words were the wrong thing to say.

“Like you, cold and calculating. Using people and ripping their heart out? Got it, Daddy. I’ll be better next time.” As I release her she slips and falls, but I pick her up bridal style and take her to the nearest table.

Laying her down, I pick up the knife and the bottle of medicine. Stashing them away in her book bag, I come back to her with her sweater. Tying it around her arm, I look at her gently. She’s so lost.

It’s your fault, asshole.“Jasmine, open your eyes.”

She turns away from me, and I see red. Reeling my anger in, I turn her back toward me as gently as I can.

“Little one, open your eyes.” I use my coaxing voice. It usually gets a giggle out of her when she’s trying to be a naughty little girl. The games we played were adorable. My heart wrenches in my chest, and I realize my mistake is a grave one.

“No. I’ll have to look into your eyes and know I’m nothing to you.”

Damn, for all my wits and wisdom, I never thought my words would be such a blow toward my own psyche.

“Jasmine, you will open your eyes right now,” I demand, and this gets her fire going. She glares at me.

“What? Haven’t you done enough?”

“Not even close.” I growl at her and she shrinks back from me. “You are going to get your ass up right now, get your school items, and you are going to come home with me.”

“No.”

My right eyebrow cocks upward. “No?”

“No. I… I can’t go back home with you. You don’t want me.”

“As you mentioned, your life is mine. Remember, you even just mentioned that the contract isn’t null. Now get it.”

This is not how I saw this going. I was going to sweet talk her, promise that she could come back to school, and win her over with the panda. But seeing her wanting to kill herself has angered me and I’m not even sure who the hell I am right now with the thought of her dying.

I help her sit up and she looks at me. Pulling out Handa for her, I smile. “I brought you your stuffy.”

Her eyes tear up, and she snatches her panda from me. Holding her animal close to her chest, she gets off the table. Her walking is a little unsteady, but she goes over to the other table and picks up her items. Not once does she let go of her panda. Bless her heart.

Chapter Thirty

Headachegalore.

My eyes hurt from crying, and my arm is stinging, but I didn’t cut it deep enough to do any damage. Not that it would matter. The scars are already there. Taking a deep breath, I hold my panda to me and look out the window of Chris's car. He wouldn’t let me drive home.

Pulling my feet up into the seat, I wrap my arms around myself and lay my head down on my panda. At least Handa would never hurt me. When I went to the library, I had made a point of studying. To show I was still dedicated to learning, but I brought the knife and medicine with me because I had every intention of killing myself.

Facing David and mom would be too much. I’m not a weak person, but I don’t think I could look them in the eyes after they’ve seen me naked. Seen… seen me do things with Chris that should have always been private.

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