Page 170 of The Sweetest Obsession

Painfully so.

Maybe that’s what’s got me extra screwed up right now.

The fact that this return to Redhaven feels like skipping right past all the normal stages of a relationship and going straight to a settled life with a husband, a daughter, a family, ahome.

I’d be lying if I said a deep, restless part of me hadn’t craved that like a slice of caramel-drenched cheesecake.

I love this little girl.

About as much as I love her uncle-slash-cousin-slash-dad.

About as much as I love my own family, and that’s when it punches me right in the feelies.

How much I miss Ros.

I’ve been so caught up trying to sleuth out the mystery of her weird behavior that I haven’t seen her as my sister ever since I came home. More like another problem to be solved.

But I miss mysister, the little girl who’d follow me around just like Nell follows me now.

A bittersweet smile pulls at my lips.

I can’t count the number of times I’d wake up in the middle of the night to a shaking figure tucked against my back, hissing at me not to look because that brat would never admit she was afraid of the dark.

Of course, she couldn’t make it through the night without her big sister.

I still remember the first time she wanted to talk to me about a boy, too. The first time she got rejected. Her first date, an awkward night out with a boy in her class band that went exactly nowhere.

Braiding flower crowns in the garden behind our house and plotting our dream weddings.

Chasing each other through the woods with glowsticks in the fall, weaving through endless trees like fireflies.

How we always knew she’d be taking over the shop one day because she idolized Mom like a goddess and adored sticking her hands in fresh-warmed beeswax more than anything. She’d spend hours playing around with it, completely fascinated by everything our mother made.

No, I don’t just want to save my sister.

I want to be her best friend again.

I want tostay hereand remember what it’s like having roots that run so deep with people I care about, and who still care about me for reasons that are increasingly hard to fathom.

I’m careful not to disturb Nell as I reach over and pull my phone from the nightstand. Scrolling through my texts, I stare at the history of unanswered messages I’ve sent Ros and sigh.

No matter how much it sucks, I have to try again.

I slowly type out a message.

Mom flatlined today. They brought her back, but I want to go see her in the morning. The treatment took a harsh turn and I talked to the doctors. I hope you’ll come with me?

My thumb hovers over the small paper airplane icon, then stops so I can add something else.

I miss you. I hope you’re okay.

Then I hit Send and curl myself around Nell with my phone clutched against my chest. All that’s left to do is hold that sweet little girl tight and pray I’ll feel my phone buzzing against my fingers soon.

But there’s nothing.

Nothing but Nell’s quiet, sleepy breaths and the soft little mewling sounds she makes as she starts to wake up.

Her eyes drift open and she blinks at me drowsily before smiling.

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