Page 33 of A Game of Survival

“I missed you, Mommy,” he sobs into my body.

“Teddy, baby, I’m so sorry!” I plead as my emotions overwhelm me and unwelcome tears blur my vision. “I’m so so sorry.” I kiss his head, his face, his hair, anything I could get access to. “I’m so sorry baby.”

We cradle together, crying into each other with my constant apologies, the only words spoken as I rock us back and forth. I can’t fathom how he felt through all of this, scared and alone. The thought of what they were planning to do to him makes me almost retch as I pull back from our embrace and hold Teddy at arms length, raking my eyes over his entire body. “Did they hurt you? Did they touch you at all sweetheart?” I urge, fumbling my hands over his body, ensuring I haven’t missed any bruising or open wounds.

“They didn’t hurt me, Mom. Uncle Ronan just shouted a lot and locked me in my room.” Teddy recalls, but the relief I feel at his words make it seem a little easier to breathe.

“Thank God.” I whisper, pulling him back to my chest and kissing his forehead. “I missed you so much baby. So much. I’m sorry we couldn’t find you sooner.” I mumble regretfully.

Teddy yawns and rubs his eyes that are already red and swollen from crying. “I missed you too, Mommy,” he sniffs, nestling further into my chest and closing his eyes. I continue to rock back and forth, absentmindedly stroking my fingers over his hair while I hum his favorite bedtime lullaby, soothing both of us to sleep.

When daylight finally pierces through the crack in the curtains I’m already wide awake. I’ve laid as still as possible for the last few hours, simply holding Teddy in my arms as I listened to the soothing sound of his soft snores while he sleeps, delighting in the feel of having him back in my arms. I have no idea what our plan is from here on out, but I do know that I need to properly thank Silas and Lincoln for fulfilling their promise and bringing my boy home safely. But more than that, I need to know what happened. The more I think of their arrival back home, the more it dawns on me that I never saw Silas last night, and even in the brief moment that I saw Linc, he never even mentioned him, and the look on Linc’s face before he left me with Teddy keeps playing on repeat in my mind. Something isn’t right. I can feel a sickening unease beginning to nestle in the pit of my stomach again and I don’t like it one bit.

By the time Teddy starts squirming, signaling he’s waking up, I’ve talked myself out of every possibly bad situation that my brain has conjured up. If something significantly bad had happened, Linc would have told me. Surely. I convince myself I’m imagining things. Silas was probably busy dealing with the fallout of rescuing Teddy, who I should be concentrating on, not fretting over somebody I know is more than capable of looking after himself, and is most probably doing whatever the hell it is he does when he’s being a mafia boss.

Drawing my attention, Teddy reaches his arm out as if to check I'm still here, the small gesture forms a lump in my throat at how many times he woke up scared and alone in that unfamiliar space.

“I’m here, baby.” I whisper, stroking my fingers through his hair before he twists his body to look at me. The looks of utter relief as his body visibly relaxes catches me off guard. I can’t ignore the way his eyes roam my face as he brings his tiny hand to my cheek and utters the word “Mommy.”

“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” I promise him, kissing his hand. “Are you hungry?” I ask, sitting up and pulling him into my lap for him to nod in response. “OK, let’s get you some breakfast. Pancakes sound good?”

At the mention of pancakes Teddy lifts his head, beaming at me. “Yes please,” he grins.

The kitchen is suspiciously empty by the time I manage to coax Teddy out of bed and we make it out of the bedroom. Teddy notices it too and as he pulls himself onto the stool at the breakfast bar and glances around the room.

“Where is everybody?” he asks, looking somewhat nervous as his fidgets in his chair. I busy myself with finding the ingredients to whip up some fresh pancake batter, ignoring the irrational feelings of hurt that are manifesting themselves inside me.

“They must be busy, baby. I’m sure we’ll see them soon, don't worry.” I say, reassuring myself more than anything else. But the next words that leave Teddy’s mouth shatter my resolve and the bowl that slipped through my fingers.

“Did Cole get out?”

I’m sure the world spun on its axis for a split second before the glass shattered across the floor making me jump from shock. “SHIT!” I curse, jumping back as a shard of glass slashes my ankle, slicing straight through the skin.

“MOMMY!” Teddy shrieks jumping down from the stool.

“Don’t come over here, Teddy, there’s glass all over the floor.” I warn him, trying to make my way across the space so I can hoist myself up onto the kitchen counter.

As I take a tentative step forwards a deep voice causes me to wobble. “Stop moving!” Linc orders as he advances on me, paying no attention to the floor littered with glass. “Get back up on the stool, Teddy,” he instructs while literally sweeping me off my feet with one arm under the back of my knees and the other supporting my lower back. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me to the bar stool next to Teddy and places me down. “Are you hurt?” he asks, looking between Teddy and I. “Either of you?”

“I’m fine.” Teddy says, nodding his head enthusiastically. “Are you OK, Mom?” he asks, with a worried look on his face.

“I’m alright. I’m so sorry Teddy, it just slipped.” I sigh, shaking my head. Not wanting to tell him his question caught me off guard. Cole’s name was the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. Why was he asking if he got out? I catch Linc’s eye wondering if there is something he’s hiding but I know he couldn’t have heard Teddy’s question.

Raking my eyes down his body I notice how tense he is, he looks sleepless and distracted but my concern is quickly snubbed as he grabs my ankle firmly in his hand, lifting my foot onto the bartop.

“Lucille, you’re bleeding,” he states, furrowing his brow before pressing his thumb into the small cut above my ankle bone. I hiss out in protest as the pressure stings but he doesn’t let me pull away, he only tightens his hold, and when I finally look back to meet his eyes again, his heated stare welds me to the seat and only when Teddy interrupts asking if I need a bandaid do I manage to look away.

“I’ll get the first aid kit,” Linc grumbles as he turns to one of the kitchen drawers and pulls out a small white box, opening it up to reveal an assortment of bandages, tapes and various sizes of bandaids. “Alesso is always injuring himself while he cooks with...” the rest of the sentence immediately dies on his tongue, leaving a sour taste at the back of my throat at the thought of what he almost said. I open my mouth to ask after Cole to try and understand what Teddy meant by asking if he got out, but without another word to either of us, Linc grabs a broom from the utility cupboard and starts clearing up the shattered glass while Teddy watches me bandage my ankle. There’s definitely something he’s not telling me.

After Linc finished clearing the floor and I’d given him the hardest stare down of my life, he left the room again, but not before promising that he’d fill me in with everything I needed to know later on this evening. I didn’t want to argue with him while Teddy was here so I let him go with little objection while I start on a fresh batch of pancake batter for breakfast.

I serve up two stacks of pancakes, topped with a mountain of fresh fruit, drizzled with syrup and sprinkled with a generous helping of chocolate chips and Teddy practically inhales the plate within a matter of minutes. Which intrusively has me thinking that they’d been starving him for the last few days. The guilt is almost impalpable, making it difficult to finish my own meal.

“Aren’t you going to finish that, Mommy?” Teddy asks, as though he can see it written all over my face.

I smile and shake my head. “No baby, you can finish it if you want. But don’t eat it so fast, you’ll give yourself a stomach ache.” I try to warn him as he shovels forkfuls of pancake and fruit into his mouth like I may suddenly change my mind and take it away from him.

I sit and watch him, taking in every small and perfect detail of his beautiful little face, smiling when I notice the chocolate smeared across his chin. I lick the pad of my thumb and laugh, “I’m not sure how you managed to miss your mouth little man, but you’ve given yourself a chocolate beard,” swiping my thumb across his face to wipe away the chocolate. He laughs and the sound warms my entire body from the inside and I instantly need to hear more of it. In a swift move, I tip him back off his stool, keeping him seated but cradling him into my arms as I rain down on him with a shower of kisses, something I know he finds incredibly hilarious. “You’re just so scrummy, I could eat you all up!” I tease as I begin to blow raspberries into his cheek, earning me a high pitched squeal of delight.

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