Page 81 of Wicked Enemy

I drummed my fingers on the tabletop as I studied him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he was up to. But I could read nothing on his face, so I asked, “Then why?”

“I just need them out of the way while I make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“One that will save my people.” Desperation blew across his features. “I’m in deep shit, spitfire. Worse than anything I’ve gone up against in years. You’re going to attack in full force in the next few days. And so are all three remaining Houses, who have now formed an alliance to take me down. And I just came from a meeting with White. He’s not satisfied. He wants blood, and if I don’t give him what he wants, he will start slaughtering everyone who works for me. I have too many enemies who are all attacking at the same time. I can’t win this with brute force. The only way to survive this is to make some deals. But I can’t do that if I’m busy trying to fend off a white boot invasion too.”

“So you just need us to be somewhere else while you make these deals?”

“Yes.”

Pushing up from the table, I ran my fingers through my damp hair and shook my head while pacing back and forth in frustration. “I can’t do this, Levi.”

His face fell, but he just nodded and said, “I understand.”

“No, not that. I can’t dothis.” I motioned between me and him. “Us. I can’t do this weird hot and cold thing between us anymore. One minute you’re calling me a traitor and a worthless piece of shit and telling me that you will kill me if you ever see me again. And the next minute, you’re risking everything to save me from a worldwalker and taking care of me when I’m drunk and holding me while I bawl my eyes out. And now, you’re here asking for my help after repeatedly telling me that you don’t want or need my help. What the hell is going on, Levi?”

He opened his mouth as if to reply, but then closed it again.

“Levi,” I snapped, irritation flashing through me.

The chair wobbled precariously as Levi shot up from his seat and began pacing as well. When both of us were doing it, the air inside the kitchen almost vibrated with nervous energy, so I forced myself to stop. Crossing my arms, I instead just stood there watching him for a few more seconds.

When he made no move to speak again, I said, “I will consider your request…”

He stopped pacing and whirled around to face me, hope flickering briefly in his eyes.

“Ifyou tell me the truth,” I finished.

The look on his face made it clear that he would rather do anything but that. Anger and frustration tore at my soul. Why was he being so fucking difficult about this?

“I don’t understand, Levi!” I threw my arms out. “Why have you saved me and taken care of me so many times now? I thought you hated me.”

For a moment, it looked as if he was going to continue being a stubborn ass. But then it was as if all the terrible tension inside him just shattered. As if he released the walls that he had been keeping around himself. The sheer intensity of the emotions that flooded his face in their wake was so strong that I sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled a step back.

“Oh, spitfire, I never hated you.”

I could tell from the sincerity in his voice that he meant every word. Confusion and disbelief whirled through my chest as I shook my head at him. “But I betrayed you. I tricked you and led you into an ambush and betrayed you. Just like everyone else that you have ever let get close to you.”

“No, you didn’t.”

I just stared back at him in confusion.

“Don’t you get it?” His eyes were brimming with emotion as he held my gaze. “You pickedme. You chosemeover your duty, your colleagues, your job. Instead of prioritizing your own mission, your own needs, you chose to let me go even though you knew that it would mess everything up for you. But you did it anyway.” His voice became thick, and he swallowed before pressing out, “No one has ever picked me before.”

Tears pricked my eyes at the raw emotion in his voice, his words, his eyes. My heart pounded in my chest, and I suddenly couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Swallowing down the thickness in my throat, I at last managed to say, “But you called me a traitor that night here on the north side when my colleagues showed up.”

“I was trying to protect you. I heard that you had been demoted and had been stripped of pay for three months because of what you did for me, and I just… I couldn’t ruin your life even more. So I had to make it look like I hated you. So that they wouldn’t get suspicious.”

My heart throbbed painfully as I shook my head at him. “Why didn’t you just tellmethat? In private. Instead of letting me think that you hated me? All these times when we’ve been alone, all you’ve said is that you hate me and that we’re done and that you will try to kill me now. Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He stepped closer. My heart skipped a beat at his sudden closeness, and I forgot how to breathe when he raised a hand and brushed a loose lock of hair away from my face. His hand lingered on my cheek while he caressed my cheekbone with his thumb.

“Because I didn’t want to drag you back into my world. Every time you did something to help me, you were putting yourself in danger. I couldn’t risk it. I was trying to make you hate me so that you would stay away. I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt again.”

I shook my head slowly. “Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” His eyes seared into me as he gently brushed his thumb over my cheek again. “I love you, spitfire.”

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