Page 148 of Lawless

Mav practically chokes on his next mouthful at JD’s words.

“Do you ever think about anything other than sex?” I ask.

“Yep, and it gets me in all kinds of trouble.” The movement of his eyes is subtle and brief, but I don’t miss the way they drop to his wrist.

“You, trouble? I don’t believe it,” I say lightly, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

He squeezes my fingers back and gives me one of his panty-melting smiles.

“I feel like I should make a speech or something as we embark on this new stage of our lives together,” he teases.

“You’re a goofball.”

“That is what this is, though, right?” he asks, nervously looking among the three of us. “Because if I’m being honest, I can’t think about a future where that might be the case.”

“J,” Reid starts.

“No, I’m serious. I know we’re meant to be hard-ass gangsters who don’t talk about feelings and shit, but fuck that. I fucked up last week,” he says, lifting his arm just in case any of us had missed it. “I made a massive mistake and nearly hurt those I love.” His eyes shift from Reid to me and my heart somersaults as I remember those three little words he said outside on the deck. “And I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to hurt you. We’ve got enough people out there wanting to do that. If we’re going to do this then we need to pull together in every way we can.”

“You’re making this sound very serious and official,” Mav points out.

“You love her?” JD asks simply.

“More than anything.”

“And Reid hasn’t killed her. I mean, he made her cookies and he barely does that for me and I’m his boy. And I, well… I’m gone for you, little dove. You fucking sucked me in from that first day I walked into your cell.”

“Okay, what fucking meds did that guy give him. Love pills?” Mav asks.

“Julian,” I whisper when he stumbles over his words. “We’re in this together. None of us know what things are going to look like in the future. All we can do is live for now. And right now, there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be than here with you three,” I assure him. “You two with us?”

I ask, looking first at Mav and then Reid.

“’Til death do us part,” Mav says, reciting those vows we made that day when I was barely eighteen.

“Yeah,” Reid agrees. “I’m in. Although there will be no deaths. Not on my watch.”

“Good. Now can we eat?”

Finally, Reid reaches for some pizza. I go to do the same, but JD grabs me and pulls me closer.

“I meant what I said outside,” he whispers in my ear, sending goose bumps racing across my skin. “And I might be a selfish fuck, but as long as it’s only with those two, I think I can cope with sharing my little dove.”

I can’t fight the wicked smile that spreads across my face at the image his words conjure up.

“Oh, little dove, I do like your way of thinking,” he teases, able to read my thoughts. “One day, we’ll give you the world.”

“I don’t need that much, J. But I appreciate the offer.”

After stealing a kiss, he allows me to finally reach for a slice of Reid’s pizza and the four of us sit on the bed and fall into easy conversation. We all avoid the heavy topics that we all know need discussing. There will be time for that, but right now, we just need to enjoy the moment.

We’re all here, we’re all relatively healthy. And by some miracle, everyone is getting along.

JD’s little speech stays with me as the sun sets beyond the windows. Reid has flipped the TV on to watch football highlights—something I was not expecting. And every time I glance around at them, all I can think is that I want it.

This. Us.

A future.

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