Page 2 of Untold Restraint

“Any time, Thaddy. We’ve got your back. You’re doing great, and everything is going to be wonderful for you and your family.” I send him back out the door, and then turn to the others before focusing on our oldest brother. “I’ll handle the practicalities, you coordinate these guys and get everything in its place.”

Cyrus nods and starts barking orders, and with a flurry of motion, a few screws, and a rush of bodies, we’re all lined up like the fucking Von Trapp Family singers, waiting for the guest of honor.

When Thaddy lifts his hands from covering Bo’s eyes, and his wife melts with gratitude and love, the sense of accomplishment in my brother is visible. So is his pride. His worship.

Everything I was never allowed to show my woman when she was glowing with shapely, fertile grace.

My heart breaks a little more at the scene playing out before me, but as envious as I am, I can’t begrudge Thaddy his happiness. He deserves it. All of it.

I step forward and wish them well, ducking behind Curty to avoid Thaddy’s glares when I call him a lovable dork. He reaches over and messes up my hair, but the sound of the doorbell snaps my spine straight.

I thought I had more time. I rush to smooth my hair back into place, then pat my hands down my body to make sure I have everything I need before I leave, because Curty’s being here was the only reason I could endure the sickeningly beautiful lovefest going on at Thaddy’s today.

I grab my son in a bear hug and lift him from the floor. “That’ll be your mom. Say bye to your bros, kid.”

He does as he’s told, and I wave too, before throwing him over my shoulder. He giggles like a maniac, and I pause in front of Bo. There are so many things I could say, but I’ve already told her the most important one — I’m grateful she’s in Thaddy’s life. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and get on my way, before I start tearing up like a fucking pussy.

I try to prepare myself for seeing Kira, but I can never quite plan for my body’s response to her. She seems even more beautiful and out of reach every time, and I live in fear that she’ll welcome another man into her life to fill the void I thrust between us by being a stupid, rebellious punk. If I’d been able to imagine the sick consequences my father would create to keep me under control, I would have stepped back in line any time he commanded it. I would’ve saved her from all he did.

But I was in love. Smitten. Foolish enough to pursue happiness.

And I ruined everything.

Kira looks up as I open the door, and her warm, brown eyes are much kinder than I deserve when she meets my gaze across the distance. She’s standing by the elevator, keeping at least ten feet from Thaddy’s front door in case I’d be the one who came to open it. Was she hoping it’d be me?

It’s too obvious that I’m pleased to be near her. My dick is swollen in the leg of my jeans, making the denim draw visibly tight. I quickly shove it out of sight between my legs, pinning it there to keep it from scaring Curty when I eventually stop occupying his attention by jiggling him on my shoulder.

I get hard every time I see Kira, and the adjustment doesn’t go unnoticed by her. She wets her lips and inhales deeply enough to make her shoulders rise. Her new posture thrusts her chest forward, and I swear she’s not wearing a bra under her pretty yellow sundress.

Her nipples are so proud and tempting, I want to seal my mouth over one, right through the fabric, while I count all the new freckles this decidedly dry summer has sprinkled over her sun-kissed skin. She tosses her long, free-flowing dark hair over her shoulder, and I barely catch the whimper trying to break from my throat.

I lift my wrist to my mouth and ping myself with the rubber band I keep there, scolding myself for the slip that led to such unguarded weakness.

I clear my throat and rumble at her softly. Intentionally. “Good afternoon, Kira.”

“Hey, Quintus,” she replies quietly. So formal. So purposely distant with her words, despite the way her eyes mourn when her gaze leaves my face. She should hate me, but as she looks me over, I see only the same sadness and longing in her expression as I feel inside.

She quickly brightens her face with a brave smile for Curty when I pull him from my shoulder and set him onto his feet in front of me, to face her.

“Hey, Ratbag.” She casually leans against the elevator door, likes she’s keeping it open, even though it has an automatic hold on this level. It’s a smart way to look natural — a defense mechanism she shouldn’t need to have, but she pulls it off without making it seem difficult. She can be a master at playing it cool, and it’s little things like this that make me love her even more.

“You have fun with the guys?” she asks Curty.

“We had thebesttime,” he says, grinning back at me. “Bo made us a whole bucket of cookies, and me and Quin built a whole big cabinet thing and a shelf for all the baby stuff to go on. Did you know he could build stuff?”

Kira looks at me and smiles. “I did. He built a treehouse with Atticus at Jack’s place in Texas one summer before, you were even a little ginger speckle in my tummy,” she says, looking back at him. “Pretty clever, huh?”

Mouth hanging open, Curty twists back around to face me. “A treehouse?”

He’s getting all wide-eyed and excited, and I know what’s coming next. I scratch the back of my head and glance at Kira. “I uh—”

“Canwebuild one?” he blurts out before I can think up something to redirect him. “It’s summer right now, and we have the perfect tree out back. Right, Mom?” He’s practically bouncing, as he begs her approval.

A tiny line forms between Kira’s dark brows. “I don’t know, Curty. Are you talking about the big oak? It’s so tall. I wouldn’t want you to fall, and it might not be the best tree for a treehouse. What if it’s not sound? It’ll need the right branches and stuff, and I’m sure Quin’s really busy with work.” She shrugs and takes a step back, entering the elevator.

“I could build it myself, then,” he says, clearly besotted with the idea.

“No,” Kira and I both say.

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