Page 84 of No Regrets

She shook her head, withdrawing her hand. “You shouldn’t think of me. I can’t give you what you need.”

“How do you know what I need? Sex, is that what you’re thinking? Yes, I like sex. With you. And before you say anything else. I get that you are not ready for that, and that you don’t know if you ever will be. It doesn’t matter. I still love you.”

“Dex, you just buried your father. You’re feeling alone. I’m here for you, but as a friend.”

“We are way more than friends and we both know it. And as for just burying my father, I bet he is turning in his fucking grave at how awkward things are between us. He raised me better than that. I owe it to him to make this right.”

Kelly stood up, folding her arms over her chest, facing him. “What exactly do you want me to say? Everything’s fine, let’s go back to how things were? I can’t, Dex.” Her voice trembled.

He got up, stepped closer so they were just a couple of feet apart.

“I don’t want anything from you other than to give me the opportunity to be in your life as a real friend. Someone you have a thirty-one year history with. Not like the distant, uncomfortable friends we’ve been recently.”

“That won’t be enough for you, Dex.” It was barely more than a whisper.

“Forever, maybe not. But right now, it is. You are so damn strong, Kelly. Just look how far you’ve come in three months. You may not think you can have an intimate relationship again, but you know what? You will. I know you will. It might not be next week, next month. It might take years. I don’t care. You said to me a while ago you’re living life one day at a time. So let me share it with you one day at a time. Let’s not worry about what might or might not happen tomorrow or a year from now. Because none of us knows what the future holds. Hell, Pops dying has made that abundantly clear.”

Silent tears rolled down Kelly’s cheeks. He desperately wanted to wipe them away, pull her in his arms and tell her it was all going to be OK. But he didn’t. Baby steps.

“I swear to you, I will not push you, I will not ask you for anything. Actually, strike that.” A hint of smile played on his lips. “I do need to ask your advice on some stuff, because I’ve been landing myself in a lot of shit recently.”

Kelly wiped her eyes. “Why does that not surprise me?” Her tears had stopped. Thank God.

“See, I need you.” He grinned. It was time to lighten the mood.

She smiled, a real smile, and the sight warmed his heart. His body was doing the automatic reaction thing, but he shut it down. He was going to have to get some control over that. He was close enough to smell her coconut shampoo. How many times had he buried his nose in her hair, and savored that smell? So familiar, so Kelly. So right.

“It hurt seeing you with that woman. Even though you weren’t doing anything wrong.”

“I’m sorry. I never want to hurt you.”

Kelly picked up her wine, taking a sip.

“So, what do you say? Will you let me be there for you, be the friend I want to be, and see what happens? One day at a time?” he asked softly.

She turned to face him. “We can try.”

He smiled. “Good. I’m here for you any way you want. If you want to talk about stuff, I'll listen. You need a shoulder to cry on or want to get drunk? I’m your man. Got it?”

“I should be saying that to you. You just buried your father.”

“Well then, we will be there for each other. There is no one I’d rather go down memory lane with to chat about Pops.”

“I’d like that.”

“So would I.” He finished his beer and set down the bottle. He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to outstay his welcome either. They’d made progress tonight.

“I’m going to head home. Will you be OK? I can stay longer if you want.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’m glad you came by.”

"If you need anything, you know where I am.”

She smiled weakly at him. “And you’re sure I won’t be interrupting anything with any leggy blondes?”

He didn’t smile. “You never have to worry about that. You have my word. You can call me, text me, come by the house anytime.” He thought about the threat on his doorstep briefly but dismissed it. It was probably nothing. “My door is always open to you.”

She nodded. “OK, Dex. Let’s take it one day at a time.”

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