Page 105 of Erik's Redemption
“Hannah, stop!”
She flinched, and he instantly regretted the hardness in his voice.
He tried to force his tone to gentle. “I’m sorry. So fucking sorry that I actually hate myself for saying this…but I willneverwant to father another child. And I willneverchange my mind. I can’t be a father, Hannah. We will not be having kids. Ever.”
Tears gathered in her eyes, but she blinked them away. “You can’t just make that call for us.”
Yeah, he knew he was a selfish bastard. “It’s already done.”
“What if I said what you’realreadysaying, just without the words? What if I said it’s usandkids…or there’s no us at all?”
The panic inside him turned wild. “Don’t do this, Hannah.”
If she did…if she told him to choose, it would be an impossible choice.
Hurt whispered across her face, her hand pressing to her stomach as she said quietly, “I want to be a mother.”
“Ican’tbe a father.”
The tears finally fell from her beautiful blue eyes. He took a step toward her, but she stepped away.
“I need to go to work and drop off those keys. Then I need time to think.”
Instant fear. It damn near crippled him. “About us?”
“About everything.”
“Hannah—”
He reached for her, but again she stepped back. “I have to go, Erik.”
When she turned and walked toward the door, it took everything in him not to call her back. Not to chase after her and beg her to stay.
Because what could he say?
Nothing would change his mind on this. Vicky had been six months pregnant when she’d been killed. He’d never been able to hold their child in his arms. Hear them laugh or cry.
When his phone rang, he almost let it go to voice mail. But it was Chandler.
“What?” Erik rasped, the air almost nonexistent in his lungs.
“I found something on Nicholas Spalder. It’s big.”
Hannah scrubbedthe tears from her eyes as she ran to her old Honda, which Erik had repaired—again. Pain lanced her chest, cutting so deeply she wanted to drop to her knees and wrap herarms around herself. Stem the blood that felt like it was flowing out of her.
She slid into her car and started the engine, then went down the long drive and out onto the road.
I will never want to father another child. And I will never change my mind.
Every one of his words had hit harder than the last. Never…he’dneverwant to be a father. What did that mean for them? What did it mean for the baby growing in her stomach?
Her breaths became shorter and faster as she hyperventilated, air barely making it to her lungs. She took a left, driving aimlessly, forgetting all about her office.
She hadn’t been behind the wheel for long when a car came up behind her. It got so close, so fast, that she instantly slowed down so they could pass her. But they didn’t.
The high beams flashed on, blinding her.
She cursed and tilted her rearview mirror away, but the light was still hitting her from the side mirrors.
