Page 62 of Dirty Secret Love

No matter what I say or do, she’ll never approve.

I take a deep breath and squeeze River’s hand, drawing strength from his warmth and his strong presence.

No more hiding.

No more pretending.

It’s time I stand up to my mother and stop letting her control my life.

“Let’s go,” I say firmly. I lift my chin, square my shoulders, and march out of the bathroom with River by my side.

My heart pounds with nervous adrenaline, but I ignore it. I’m done being afraid of my mother. It’s time she accepts me for who I am. No more trying to get me to be like Sailor. Honestly, I don’t even know if my sister is who she shows. Maybe she’s just as lost as I am and tangled in a competition with my mother’s desires and the person she should be.

Sailor isn’t my problem though, I have to fix this for myself. Be brave for me and learn to be proud of my life.

As we exit the bathroom, I immediately spot my mother pacing close to the library’s exit, looking like a mountain lion desperate to escape her enclosure. Her lips are pressed into a tight line, arms crossed over her chest. The second her eyes land on me, her glare intensifies. If looks could kill, I’d be a pile of ashes right now.

“Well, it’s about time you came out and faced me,” she snaps, eyes flicking between River and me with clear disapproval. “I see that you gave this man your virginity. Do you know that he’s a nobody? And you gave your virginity to him. Like he deserves it.”

River gives my hand a subtle, reassuring squeeze. Drawing in a breath, I lift my chin and prepare to stand my ground. “No I didn’t give it to him,” I say, my tone firm. “I haven’t been a virgin for a long time, but that’s none of your business. I won’t allow you to shame me for that or anything else that I’ve done. I enjoy sex. A lot.”

She gasps, clutching her pearls dramatically. “Sutton.”

“In fact, he’s not my fiancé. I just asked him to pretend because I wanted to keep you happy,” I continue. “His wealth is none of your fucking business?—”

“Language,” she interjects, eyes wide with shock.

“Fucking,” I repeat resolutely. “There’s nothing wrong with that word, Mother. Just like there’s nothing wrong with me being a librarian in a small town, where I can be with the friends that treat me and love me like family. Or becoming an author who writes steamy romance among other things.”

“What does that even mean?” she asks, her face morphing into an expression of indignant surprise and anger, nostrils flaring.

“Exactly what I just said. I actually work here to help the town. They don’t pay me, and I do more than just shelve books. I run programs and ensure that we have the latest books,” I state, taking some air before I continue, “And I write the kind of romance Grandma Asher loved but you condemn as sinful.”

I’m filled with adrenaline. Lifting my chin in defiance even as my stomach twists nervously, I add, “My life is nothing like you wanted and I love it.” Tremors go up and down my legs. That’s probably the trauma response from always wanting to give her what she wants and never what I need. My body wanting to fly so she can’t shame me for not being enough, but Iamand her opinion shouldn’t matter.

“Sutton, this isn’t you,” she states, eyes flashing. “I knew this town?—”

“Mom, stop,” I interrupt, my voice wavering slightly.

“I’ll head to the mayor, and she’ll know what you do during working hours. You’ll regret screwing up your life,” she threatens, her tone growing more shrill and entitled. With a dramatic huff, she turns on her heel and storms out of the library, heels clicking angrily on the floor.

I stand there stunned, waves of humiliation and anger washing over me. What have I done? The town can’t afford a librarian or to keep this open, but they won’t like having me here anymore. Did I just ruin all the hard work I’ve done for the past few years?

River steps closer, slipping an arm around my waist. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you, no matter what she tries to do,” he murmurs.

His presence helps calm my racing heart. I know he’ll support me, even if my mother tries to ruin my reputation out of spite. But I won’t be able to stay in town. And it’s okay, my friends don’t need me close anymore.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

Sutton

I stareat the door wondering how I got to this point. Everything I built just blew . . . well, not everything, just the lies I fabricated to keep my mother happy. The little relationship we had is over, isn’t it?

And what am I supposed to do now?

“You think they’re going to fire you?” River asks, taking me into his strong arms.

He bends, creating a cocoon for me. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and nod. Even when this is an unpaid position, I doubt they’ll want to keep me around. It’s sad because they might close the library permanently. There’s no budget to make this a paid position and I doubt anyone will be willing to use their own money to buy the books the town needs.

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