Page 121 of If We Say Goodbye

Down below, someone is standing in our yard with a bandage wrapped around their head.

Caleb.

I step back, quickly closing the curtains.

My head pounds as I rub the temples on either side of my head.

The rocks start flying again, tapping the glass harder each time. Caleb starts yelling my name.

I tear the curtains away and open the window. “Are you trying to wake up everyone in the neighborhood?”

“I need to talk to you,” he says.

“What are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?”

“I snuck out because I needed to see you.”

It's a strange angle to be looking down at him. His head is bent back as he looks up at me. Normally, it’s the other way around.

I shake my head. “I can’t.”

“I’m not leaving until you come down here.”

Why is he making this so hard? It isn’t fair. I’m not sure how much more I can handle.

“Why are you doing this?”

Here it is. He’s going to try and talk me out of breaking up with him. He’s going to give me a million reasons why we should be together. If I tell him the real reason we have to break up, he’ll try and convince me that he can change his mom’s mind. Either that or it’ll ruin their relationship, and I’m not ruining another family. I’ve already destroyed mine, and that’s enough.

“I need to make sure you’re okay,” he says.

“What?” My mouth parts in shock.

“I need to see with my own two eyes that you’re okay.” He steps closer to the house. “Either you come down, or I’m going to find a way to climb up there.”

“Don’t you dare. You have a concussion.” I step back and grab my jacket off my chair. I drape it over my shoulders.

I know better than to go down there, but I find myself walking toward the door.

It’s dark and quiet. Dad left with Uncle Joe at some point, and Mom is in bed. She knocked on my door when she got home, but I didn’t reply. She usually knocks more than once, but not last night. Last night, she gave up.

I don’t know why that hurts. That’s what I wanted, isn’t it? For her to leave me alone?

I shake the thought out of my mind and pause at the bottom of the stairs. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves before walking outside.

A cool breeze brushes against my skin, sending a shiver through me.

At the bottom of the porch is Caleb.

MyCaleb.

His skin is still pale, but his eyes are full of life and worry.

I walk down the porch steps, meeting him in the grass. I can’t hold his gaze. Mine falters, and I tug on my sleeves until they cover my palms.

“I don’t believe you,” he says, a sense of urgency pulling at his words. “I know you don’t want to break up. Something else is going on. I know you.”

My cheeks warm and tears build at the brim of my eyes, but I control them. I don’t let them fall. “You’re wrong. I already told you I can’t do this anymore.”

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