Page 31 of Cluelessly Yours

“I don’t think this is going to work.” The words fall from my lips without refinement, but I don’t regret them. Instead, I turn in my seat, shaking off the arm around my shoulders, and face Gavin. “I think you’re a great guy, Gavin. And I really appreciate how awesome you’ve been tonight. The fact that you’re sitting here in the waiting room with me says a lot. But I don’t think I’m ready to be dating right now. My life is busy enough as it is. I don’t think I’m ready to complicate it with a relationship.”

His expression is oddly neutral. “Sammy, I understand what you’re saying, but I think you’re wrong.”

“What? Why?”

The last thing I expected was to have him fight me on this.

“You’re a single mom of two boys with a busy life and tons of responsibility. I think you deserve to have fun. More than anyone, really, youdeserveto have fun.”

“Deserving something and it being a good idea are two entirely different things,” I challenge. “Grant is currently in surgery because he broke his arm, and I wasn’t there.”

“Babe, this is not something you should feel guilty about,” he says and reaches out to pat my thigh gently. “Kids get hurt sometimes. It’s what they do. You can’t stop or prevent that. This was a freak accident and nothing you could’ve prevented, even if you had been with him. And what about when he’s at school or you’re at work? You’re away from him then too. It’s a reality you can’t avoid, no matter how hard you think you should try.”

“I don’t know, Gavin…” I pause and stare down at where his hand is still gently touching my thigh. “I just don’t think I’m ready for dating and relationships.”

“You deserve to have fun,” he repeats his earlier words. “Don’t get lost in details like dates and relationships. Just let me keep taking you out. Use me for fun.”

Use him for fun?I don’t know what to think of that comment.

“Sammy, I really like you,” he adds and reaches out to take both of my hands in his. “We don’t need to label this. Let’s just take it one day at a time. No commitments, okay? Just fun.”

I still don’t know what to say, but it doesn’t matter because I don’t get any time to ponder it. The automatic doors that lead to the OR slide open, and an older man with a green surgery cap and navy-blue scrubs comes striding out.

“Sammy Baker?” he questions, meeting my eyes as he closes the distance between us.

I jump up and out of Gavin’s embrace. “Yes! That’s me.”

“I’m Dr. McCormick,” he introduces himself, and I stand up to shake his hand. “I just wanted to let you know that Grant did great in surgery.”

“Yeah?” Tears prick my eyes. “Everything went okay?”

“I just finished up, and I’m very happy with the outcome.” He nods and offers a genuine smile. “It ended up being a relatively easy surgery. It was a clean break, and the area where the bone broke the skin was relatively small. I’m confident everything is going to heal up nicely without any issues or infection.”

“Oh my gosh.” Relief floods my chest, and I have to swipe my cheeks to remove a few fresh tears. “I can’t even begin to tell how relieved I am to hear that.”

“I can imagine,” he says and offers a friendly pat to my shoulder. “It’s never easy when it’s your child in the OR.”

“I honestly don’t think it’s something anyone can get used to,” I retort with a sniffle and a shake of my head. “Can I see him now?”

“You’ll be able to see him once he’s all settled in his recovery room. Probably won’t be more than thirty minutes or so.” Dr. McCormick smiles. “And I’ll come by in a little while to give you a more detailed explanation of what we did during surgery and his current plan of care. Sound good?”

I don’t know if it’s relief or guilt or worry or a combination of all three, but the urge to sob right here in this waiting room is damn near overwhelming.

All I can do is force a smile to my lips and nod. “Yes. Thank you.”

As Dr. McCormick heads back through the OR doors, my phone pings in my pocket. I fully expect it to be Brooke, letting me know her ETA, but when I pull it out to check the screen, I find Noah’s name front and center.

Noah: Just wanted to tell you that Grant did awesome. Dr. McCormick should come out to update you if he hasn’t already. And I’m going to stay with Grant until he’s settled in his recovery room and you can come on back.

For some reason, that message urges a few more tears to escape from my lids.

Me: Thank you, Noah. You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re with him right now.

Noah: Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

When I look up from the screen, I see Gavin sitting in the waiting room chair, eyeing me affectionately—like he’s right where he wants to be too.

But with Noah and Gavin and Grant in the hospital all swirling in my mind?

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