Page 56 of Cluelessly Yours

“No, ma’am,” she interrupts with a raise of her hand.

“Brooke. He didn’t, like, physically do anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. He—”

“No way. It doesn’t matter. Your body autonomy is yours, and you are allowed to say no, no matter how much you think you’ve been ‘signaling.’ Him getting upset about not getting hiscookieat the end of the meal is bullshit.”

She’s one hundred percent right. No woman should feel like she owes a man sex or feel guilted or pressured into having it if she doesn’t want to.

“I know,” I agree. “That’s why I held my ground. But I can still understand where he’s coming from, okay? I get why he was irritated with me last night, and he’s been texting me this morning and apologizing. I’m more upset with myself than I am with him.”

“Why, in God’s name,whywould you be upset with yourself in this situation?”

“Because after I told him no, I left and went to a bar.”

Her head bobbles up and down like one of those dashboard dolls. “Okay…”

“Bailey’s.”

Her eyes widen. She obviously knows that Noah is a regular there. I had a feeling she would.

“I ran into Noah, and we ended up talking all night. He told me about his upbringing and his sister and so many things about his life I had no freaking idea about.”

“Okay…”

“I drank three and a half glasses of wine, and then he walked me home and we talked some more.”

“Three and a half?” Brooke asks on a snort. “That explains the mismatched socks this morning.”

I glance down at my feet before dropping my head in my hands. “Jesus.”

“Whatever, Sam. Forget about the socks, would you? I’m dying here.”

I swallow and take a deep breath. “We talked, and then at some point, everything else just faded away. All I could see was the burn in his eyes, like the two of us were in a tunnel, right there in your old apartment.”

“Oh my God,” Brooke whispers. “You slept with Noah.”

I nod slowly. “And I was probably the one who initiated it…” I cringe and sink my head back into my hands on a groan. “Gah. What is the matter with me?”

“Nothing!” Brooke protests and tugs my hands away from my face. “You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Sammy, and anyone on earthwould understand if you made the occasional mistake. But I’m telling you, thiswasn’tone. You made a choice you were allowed to make, and it sounds to me like you had reason to. You weren’t committed to either of these guys, and you are allowed to do what you want, do you hear me?”

“Oh, I hear you, all right. You’re kind of yelling.”

She sucks her lips into her mouth and backs away from my face by a foot. “Sorry.”

“I just…I don’t know, Brooke. I feel so guilty. Like any second, it’ll eat me alive.”

“You don’t owe anyoneanything. You don’t need to feel guilty.”

I scoff. “You know that’s like telling someone to relax, right?”

Brooke keeps her mouth shut, but I can see the desire to say something written all over her face.

“Please, whatever it is you’re thinking, just say it. Lord knows I am all ears on how to deal with this mess.”

“I just… Sammy.” She pauses and reaches out to hold one of my hands. “If you forget all the rest of it, there’s only one detail that matters.”

When she pauses too long, I almost explode. “Yeah? And? What is it?”

Her voice is painstakingly gentle. “You said no to Gavin, but you said yes to Noah. Why is that?”

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