Page 24 of Sidelined

I made a face. "But beingableto lick yourself clean. I couldn't be that flexible in my wildest dreams." Maybe if I was, Conrad would be interested.

Grace laughed. "Me either. I also wouldn't want to live on cat food."

The cat lifted up her head and gave Grace a look as though she understood every word.

"Oh, sorry." Grace stroked her head. "I'm sure cat food is delicious. Excuse me if I don't try to find out though."

The cat let out a soft meow and put her head back down.

"I think you are forgiven," I said. "See how simple that was?"

"You'd be bored after a day," Grace said. "Cats can't read."

"But they can watch movies," I pointed out. She was right though, I'd be bored.

"I realised something," I said after a minute of silence.

"Oh? What's that" Grace tossed her spoon on the table. It slid across the top and fell onto the floor on the other side. "Oops." She made no move to get up and retrieve it.

"I realised I was right when I said guys like Conrad don't go for girls like me," I said. "It's probably just as well they don't. We'd make each other miserable. Sure, we have one or two things in common. But we're two different people. Both of us have ambitions which are polar opposites.

“I said it right at the start, I am a geek, he is a jock. There is no in between." Sure, he liked superhero movies, but he probably only liked them for the action sequences. He'd be just as happy with a car chase movie, with spies and hot women. Putting on Thor for us to watch, he was probably just humouring me.

Although, he had seemed to enjoy it as much as I did.

None of that mattered anyway. I'd help him with his exam, and then I'd get back to my boring, dull, sad existence. And he'd go off and become a football god.

"You'll find someone better then," Grace said. "Someone handsome, smart, ambitious, sweet… When you do, can you find out if he has a friend?" She grinned.

I snorted a laugh. "Sure. I'll introduce you. Let me guess, tall, dark and handsome?"

"Sounds good to me," she agreed. "Maybe someone who cares about his appearance."

"Okay, no slobs." I pretended to write that down on an invisible piece of paper. "Would you like him to be rich while he's at it?"

Grace thought about that for a moment. "No, he doesn't have to be rich. Just…able to sustain himself. And aware of the fact that I am able to do the same for myself. No cavemen."

"One Mr Perfect coming up." I smiled. I doubted a guy like that existed.

No, that wasn’t true. I thought Conrad was pretty close. He fit the bill in so many ways. Tall, dark and handsome, ambitious, sweet, funny. Whoever he ended up with, would be a lucky woman. Was it silly that I was jealous of her? Probably, but I was. She'd be everything I wasn't. Everything he needed.

I should be happy for them. Someday I would be. In the meantime, I'd live my life and not try too hard to look out for love. If the time was right, it would find me.

I couldn't help the little voice in the back of my head that wondered what might have been if I had the confidence to push myself out of my comfort zone and go for what I wanted.

Chapter Twelve

CONRAD

I rubbed a hand over my forehead. It was hard to focus after a night with very little sleep. The hospital said Mum might go last night. Dad and I sat by her bedside, holding her hands and talking to her. By morning, she was stable again. I was relieved, of course, except… Part of me suspected she would have welcomed her final rest.

I knew I had to let her go at some point, but whenever it was it wouldn't be easy. Who was I kidding? It was fucked up as fuck. She was my mother, she should…

"Sorry, I'm just…" I covered a yawn with my hand. "I was up late studying for history," I lied. "Did you know Hitler was a real asshole?"

"I've heard something along those lines," Bec agreed.

I thought she'd laugh, but she didn't even smile.

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