Page 26 of Sidelined

"Only if it was written by people with blonde hair and blue eyes," she said dryly. She was obviously unimpressed with this line of conversation.

"Right." I nodded towards the paper. "We should move onto the next question."

"Yes," she agreed. “We should.” She looked at me for a long moment, then looked down at the question sheet.

While she read the next question, I watched her. Damn, she really was gorgeous.

Funny to think if I hadn't been doing so badly in English, I never would have met her. She might have been better off, but I was a better person for knowing her. She reminded me that, believe it or not, there were other things in life than football. Bizarre, but true. It didn't necessarily mean I was going to pick up a book of poetry and read it just for fun, but I appreciated it a little more. And when I watched superhero movies, I'd think of her.

In the back of my mind, I even considered asking her to the graduation formal. Maybe just as friends.

Who was I kidding, I wanted to take her as more than friends. I wanted the whole works, corsage, dancing, maybe even making out afterward. Why stop at making out? I wanted to make love to her. I wanted it so badly it hurt.

I wanted…so much I could never have. I had to put it out of my mind for her sake. I knew then that I loved her with my whole heart, but I had to let her go. I put a wall around my heart and tried to shut her out of it.

Maybe, when I lay alone in the middle of the night with all the money I was going to make from playing pro football, I'd think of her and what might have been if I wasn't so scared to lose myself to her.

Chapter Thirteen

BEC

Was I really going to do this?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My red sweater hugged my curves, but in a flattering way. My black jeans were new, I'd just tugged off the label.

Like everything black, they made me look slimmer. I thought about grabbing a pair of scissors and making holes in the knees, but I dismissed the idea. My mother would kill me, and my knees would get cold. I didn't see the point of sacrificing comfort for fashion.

I thought about putting on make-up, at least lipstick. I peered closer at my reflection, and made a face at all the freckles on my nose. Last time I tried to cover them up, the foundation I used was totally the wrong colour. I ended up looking like a carrot.

No, better just to look natural.

I smoothed down the sides of my jumper, and headed for the door.

I hurried down the street, as fast as I could go, before I changed my mind.

Part of me was wondering if I wasoutof my mind. I'd lain awake all night, thinking about Conrad. The way he looked, theway he smiled and laughed. I couldn't think about anything else. Except that if I didn't try, I'd never know what might have been.

I stopped in front of his house and almost turned around and ran back home. My feet felt like lead. No, I correct myself, they felt like a raging river and I was caught in the force of its flow. There was only one direction I could go. Forward.

I sucked in a breath and walked up his front path. With a lot more confidence than I felt, I knocked on the door.

The door swung open a minute or two later.

"Hey," Conrad seemed surprised to see me. "Did we have a tutoring session booked in?"

He wore rumpled jeans and a faded sweatshirt with a logo of some football team on it. Half of it was worn away, but it looked like a shark with a sword.

"Can I come in? I asked.

"Oh, sorry." He stepped back and waved for me to enter. "Is everything okay?"

I could have asked him the same question. He must have been up late studying again, because he looked exhausted. At least he was putting in the effort to pass high school.

He rubbed a hand over his face. "Would you like a drink of water? Or some popcorn? I was just gonna sit down and watchReturn of the Jedi. Have you seen it?"

"Once or twice." I smiled. Or ten times. "Actually…I came to ask you something."

He cocked his head at me. "Oh yeah? That sounds ominous." He smiled teasingly.

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