Page 39 of Becoming Cinderella

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. I’m not sure if he doesn’t want to answer, or if he’s trying to figure out how to.

“I love what I do,” he finally says. “I know I’m given many incredible opportunities.”

“But,” I say, sensing there must be one coming.

“But,” he eventually says.

I feel like I’ve won a slight victory. Like I’ve successfully cracked the wall he’s built around himself.

“Sometimes I wish I could disappear from the spotlight. To experience your typical normal things without it ending up in some magazine’s ‘Stars, They’re Just Like Us’ feature.”

“Like shopping?” I look at him knowingly.

“Usually. Except one time I went shopping and all these fans were there so this girl helped me escape. It would have been a shame if I never got to meet her.”

He smirks and if I could see myself, I’m sure my cheeks are the brightest shade of pink.

“What about you? I mean, my life is acting, but what do you want to do after you graduate?” Liam moves past the compliment he just gave me like it didn’t cause the warmth in my body to burst into butterflies that start their own rock band.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Penn is planning to go off somewhere and study drama, which by the way, I’m surprised she hasn’t picked your brain about acting.” I’m sure it has to do with his fan aversion confession I told her about. I’m just now realizing though how much she’s probably dying to talk to him about acting. “Jared wants to be a physical therapist. Harper is going to school to be a social worker. You’re already well into your career of acting. Everyone seems to have life figured out, but me.”

“Whoa, hey.” He tilts his head down slightly to try to get at better eye level with me across the closet. “Who said I had my life figured out? I’m sure your friends feel the same way too. Which is okay, because nobody said you had to have everything figured out at the age of seventeen.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Do you know how often I’m asked what I’m going to school for? What I want to do for the rest of my life? The times my school counselor has pulled me into her office to determine a plan for me? I feel like I have to pick something right away, but what if I pick something I’m not interested in? Am I stuck doing that for the rest of my life?”

“Again, nobody said you had to have it all figured out. Maybe you should take a gap year? Take a year to travel, to figure out what you’re passionate about. Go take a baking class in France and an art class in Italy. Study marine biology in Australia and marketing in London. Or, you know, dance in New York.” He wiggles his eyebrows at this one. “My point is go try different subjects and see what sparks your interest. You have time to figure it out.”

“It’s not that easy. My paycheck from working here isn’t necessarily allowing me to take a world tour. Plus, I would never be able to travel alone, haven’t you ever seen Taken?”

“Okay, so take those classes at your local rec center. Because that is that easy.”

“Don’t you just have an opening on your security team?” I try to joke.

He lets out a quiet chuckle. “You’ll be the first person I contact when I do.”

I’ve learned Liam doesn’t like to go around with a security team because he wants to live his life as normally as possible. Due to his current celebrity status though, that’s not really possible and he has to have someone nearby during the times he insists he doesn’t need them. Just like when he had to call to have security come escort him from the dance studio on the first day we met. It would be nice if his security was here tonight though.

“By the way, back to what you said earlier, let Penn know she can totally ask me questions about acting.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I like Penn.”

“I thought you had a thing about your fans. About I don’t know, wanting to avoid them?”

He readjusts himself on the floor, resting his arms on his bended knees. “No, not at all. I do like my fans you know. I owe them everything I have. It’s just fan interactions last for a few minutes and nothing more. They’re usually screaming or crying and it’s hard to have an actual conversation. Then the ones who manage to make it without crying or screaming want something. It can be as simple as a photo but sometimes it’s more, like trying to get their own fifteen minutes of fame.” He stops, his eyes focus on the floor as he gets lost in his thoughts.

I don’t say anything, letting him process whatever is on his mind.

“All people see is a celebrity. I’m this so-called famous guy and that’s the only thing I am. Nobody goes around saying I’m someone who is genuine. That I’m a guy who’s good with his stunts or often gives to charity. No, it’s just, ‘There’s Liam Taylor. That guy is famous.’” He stares down at his hands as he begins to absentmindedly pick at his fingernails. “That’s why it’s hard to let people in. I constantly question if people are being nice to me because I’m famous, or because they actually like me. I can’t help wonder if I didn’t have what I have, would they still like me?”

Once again I’m hit with a ridiculous desire to touch him, to somehow comfort him, but I keep my hands to myself. I might no longer see him as just a celebrity, but I still feel like a bit of a fraud. I used to see him that way so I don’t feel like I’m the right person to comfort him.

Besides, my phone’s photo album is still full of Liam related pictures and his face still covers my bedroom wall. My parents definitely still see him as just a famous guy and nothing more.

Liam turns a steady gaze on me that I try not to squirm under. It’s intense and I feel like he’s able to see everything I’ve kept from him.

“Anyway, enough of the heavy stuff,” he says with a sigh. “I’m sure your conversation would have been more exciting if you were here with Jared, huh?” Liam cracks a smile.

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