Page 57 of Becoming Cinderella

“Jared feels awful.”

Good. He should feel bad. My face is plastered across all celebrity news outlets because he started talking to some reporter. None of this would be happening otherwise.

I close my eyes with a deep sigh.

No. That’s not fair to him. This isn’t Jared’s fault at all. He’s not the one who tweeted those things about Liam. I can’t blame anyone but myself.

I open my eyes as a group of boys from my grade approach us.

“Yo, Adams. I bet you my lips are more kissable than Liam Taylor’s. Want to test it out?” He puckers his lips as his friends laugh behind him, slapping his back as they continue down the hall, not waiting for my response.

“You know, I’m not hungry,” I tell Penn. The thought of food right now makes me want to throw up. “I’m just going to go sit outside.” And hide.

Penn nods, and reaches out to give my arm a squeeze. “I’ll go grab something and meet you.”

It’s October in Utah, so the breeze has a bite to it. I wrap my light gray cardigan tightly around me. I don’t retreat back into the school though in order to avoid the chill as I head towards the tree I told Penn I’d meet her at. The lower temperature means most people are inside, which seems to be the only thing working in my favor today. Fewer people around mean fewer people openly gawking at me.

I sit down and pull out my phone. Still no response from Liam. Do I send another message? What if he’s already blocked my number?

I open my Twitter as I debate deleting it all together. I’ve gained a staggering number of new followers since this morning. Other Liam Taylor fangirls wanting to follow one of their own.

“You okay?” Jared says sitting down next to me, making me jump.

I put my hand over my racing heart. “I thought you were Penn.”

Jared doesn’t say anything, just watches me carefully.

I hold up my phone to him. “My Twitter is getting flooded with hate comments and new followers,” I look down at the screen. “One girl is calling me her queen while another is calling me an ugly troll.” I sigh and close out of the site, resting my head against the tree. “Ugly troll is one of the nicer hate comments.” I squint an eye at Jared whose face sags with exhaustion like the regret he’s feeling is taking a physical toll on him.

“This is all my fault. I wish I could make it go away.”

“It’s not. Most of those things they are saying are lies of course. But the tweets aren’t, and you didn’t force me to post those things about Liam. Honestly, there’s even more I’m sure they’ll dig up soon if not already.” I close my eyes, like I’m trying to find peace in this madness. “I never thought I’d actually meet Liam when I tweeted those things, you know? They were just standard fangirl tweets. I never thought they could hurt him.”

“Why would they hurt him? They weren’t hurtful things you said.”

No. I didn’t technically say hurtful things, but to Liam they will be. Because I led him to believe he wasn’t a celebrity to me. Which he no longer is, but what if he doesn’t see it that way? Liam might feel like his trust has been betrayed, and if that’s the case I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m trying not to let myself panic too much until I know for sure, but it’s getting harder to breath with each passing moment.

I turn to face Jared, looking at him like the sweet, naive boy he is. “Because Liam thought I wasn’t a fan. He trusted me because he thought I was different, that I liked him for him, not because of his celebrity or what I could get from him.” I dig my palms into my eyes until I see white spots, I don’t care how much this will probably smear my makeup.

Penn approaches then, sitting between me and Jared to connect our tiny circle. She hands me a Granny Smith apple, my favorite. “Just in case you get hungry later.”

I take it from her with the small smile I can manage in appreciation but I’m not so sure I will be eating it. My nerves have my stomach twisted in so many knots a skilled sailor couldn’t even untangle them. I need a miracle. Or a message from Liam telling me everything is fine. Which at this rate would be a miracle of its own.

“So…are you two okay?” Penn looks between Jared and I before studying her own apple to hide how nervous she is about my answer.

“Yeah,” I nod as I look from her to Jared. “We’re okay.”

Penn turns from me to Jared with a wide smile, grateful we’re getting along. Jared returns her smile and I once thought it would be hard to see Jared in love. But the way he’s watching Penn right now with a look of adoration, it’s not hard at all. They’re perfect for each other, I just wish I would have noticed earlier.

Jared places his hand on Penn’s knee and I wonder if Penn feels a shock of electricity when Jared touches her the way I do when Liam touches me.

Liam.

Ugh. Why won’t he answer my messages?

“Can you guys just distract me? I need to try to think about something else.” And not how heavy my phone feels in my hand with no incoming messages from him.

Penn bites her lower lip as she tries to think of something. “When you’re sad I usually show you that clip of Liam in Eagle Strike when he climbs out of the air vent. Give me a moment to think of something new to make you happy.”

---