I pull my attention from the poster and open my locker.
“Let me know if anyone gives you any trouble today, okay?”
I grab my math book from the top shelf. “You don’t have to try to protect me. I know you blame yourself for what’s happening, but this is on me, not you.” I close my locker and give him a half smile. That’s all I can muster right now.
“I know you keep saying that, but I’m on your side. I’m not fighting your battles for you, I’m fighting them with you,” he says in way of explanation. He’s being protective, which is sweet and not that long ago had made me want to melt.
I put a hand on his shoulder, “I appreciate it.” There aren’t any tingles when I touch him. No electric shocks like I’ve felt with Liam.
I tell him and Penn goodbye before I hurry off to try to sneak into my first period class without much notice. Just like the day before, I’m the center of unwanted attention. It was one thing when my photo was posted looking like I was about to kiss Liam. My classmates thought it was cool I was supposedly dating a celebrity. But now, they’re quick to look at me like I’m a freak. It hurts more than I thought it could.
The rest of the school day passes in a blur. I try to put all my attention into my classes, and not what people are saying about me. Thankfully I don’t have to work after school. I’m not an actress, I wouldn’t be able to act like my heart hasn’t been smashed as I try to put on a wide customer service approved smile.
Penn invites me to come over to her house after school, and I know she just wants to get my mind off of everything, but I turn her down. Instead I don’t want to do anything but climb into my bed and hide away from the world.
That night after an awkward dinner of silence and avoiding everyone’s gazes, my parents excuse Rylee to go watch TV but keep me behind.
I pick at my cuticles, unable to meet their eyes.
“Carter,” Mom starts, “we need to talk about the fact you disobeyed us and kept seeing Liam.”
“I’m sorry, I obviously didn’t want to lie to you about it.”
“No honey, it’s not obvious.”
I slump down in my chair.
“Why did you do it? Was it because a celebrity was paying attention to you?” My dad’s words pierce through me.
“No Dad,” I shoot him a look. “It had nothing to do with his status. I was helping him learn a dance for his movie.” I pop my elbows on the table. “And well, he was helping me get Jared as my Homecoming date.” I had been hoping for more than him being my date to the dance, but that would open a whole other string of questions I don’t want to get into with them. “We needed each other.” I add quietly, my bottom lip starts to shake.
“You went behind our backs and did something we told you not to.”
“You wouldn’t listen to me! You were acting like he was some sort of criminal!” The words come out louder than I expected, my defenses rising.
“Honey, we didn’t want you to get involved in his lifestyle.” Dad’s voice is calm while Mom watches me carefully. “I mean now look, you’re practically being dragged through the mud.”
Tears prick my eyes but I don’t want to cry about this anymore. I wasn’t in this situation because of Liam. This was because of me.
“We’re just really disappointed in you, Carter.” Mom finally says.
I’m not sure if it’s because of my breakdown yesterday, or the fact she’s trying to understand, but I’m grateful for the lack of pushback right now.
“It’s not like you to act this way. For you to lie to us.”
“I’m sorry,” my voice cracks as I absentmindedly pick at my cuticles. I can’t meet their eyes right now. Maybe the speech about disappointing them is worse than them being outright mad at me. It makes my stomach turn to know I’ve disappointed them. I’m not sorry I did it, because I would do it again if given the opportunity. I am sorry though about the way things unfolded, and the tangle of lies I told. I never wanted to go behind their backs, I just never saw another option.
Mom and Dad exchange a look with each other, an unspoken conversation being exchanged.
I wipe the corner of my eyes with the sleeve of my cardigan, trying to keep the tears from escaping.
“Carter,” Dad turns away from Mom. “You’re grounded. Nothing but school and work for the next month. You’ll give the studio a deep clean on the weekends, then when you finish with that, you’ll do the shed.”
I can’t remember the last time I was grounded. But I can’t argue with my sentence. Honestly, being able to avoid everyone outside of school and hole myself in my room under the guise of being grounded? Under my current circumstances, this doesn’t sound like much of a punishment.
“Do you understand?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, I understand.” It’s soft, the sound from Rylee’s TV show filtering in.