Page 13 of Room 908

My fingers jerked, typing a bunch of random letters into the form, and I hit the backspace key. “My personal life is none of your business, Brent. Remember? We talked about this.” But his question filtered through my brain anyway. Was I into Eric? The truth of it was that I’d never beenoutof Eric. Even though I’d been hurt beyond belief at his rejection, there was a part of me that had always clung to what was.

I liked to torture myself sometimes, by watching Eric’s interviews after a game. His hair disheveled and sweaty from being inside his helmet, his cheeks flushed, his eyes still bright from the adrenaline. And then after Cam was in bed, I would drink a massive glass of wine and cry myself to sleep.

Brent snorted out a huff of frustration, and he came around and sat on the desk to my right, his thigh brushing against my arm. “He betrayed you, Jasper, and he’ll do it again. You can’t trust him.”

“And what would you have me do, Brent? Deny him access to his son, so that he can drag me through a lengthy and expensive custody battle?”

“You never should’ve told him about Cam in the first place,” he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

I slammed my hand down on the desk to cut him off, my cheeks flaming, before I realized a few people in the waiting room—as well as a cat, a dog, and a parrot—had turned to look at the scene unraveling. I lowered my voice and hissed, “No, Brent. I should’ve told him the second I found out I was pregnant. It was his right to know. It’s me who screwed up, okay? I did.” I heaved a breath, clenching my shaking fists. “And Eric is a good man. He’s nice to Cam. This is a good thing.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but thankfully, Kel appeared in the doorway behind him. “Seriously, Brent, lay off already.”

“I’m just trying to help,” he said in his defense. “Jasper doesn’t have an alpha to watch over him.”

Kel scoffed. “You think he needs someone to protect him? I guess you haven’t seen Jasper go all omega-daddy bear before. Trust me, he can take care of himself. He won’t make any rash or dangerous decisions when it comes to Cam. That boy is his world.”

My chest warmed at my friend’s description of me; it made me feel stronger and less like a total failure.

“Besides,” Kel continued, smirking, “Jasper has been abundantly clear that he doesn’t want to discuss his personal matters with you, but if you’re so keen on office gossip, I would be more than happy to talk to you about my imploding marriage to a workaholic.”

Brent frowned and shook his head. “No, it’s all right. I think I’ll—”

But Kel was already digging into the well of frustration inside him. “Do you know that he called to say he’d be working late like four days last week? One night he didn’t even get home until almost midnight. And then he went back in on Sunday. Sunday! Can you believe it? He missed Sarah’s soccer game. She scored a goal, but she wasn’t even excited about it because her daddy ditched the game. Again.”

Brent was getting flustered as he tried to squeeze past Kel to get out of the small office. “Um, I’m sure I don’t—”

“And he hasn’t wanted to have sex, like, at all. It’s been over a month since he touched me. I swear, my sphincter is tightening up. I’m practically a born-again virgin, which I didn’t even know was possible after giving birth. Cause, you know, that stretches everything out of shape.”

“Oh… okay, I just… What’s that, Dr. Mayle? Right, yes, I’ll be right there. Coming.” Without a backward glance, he retreated down the hall and disappeared into a random exam room.

Kel winked at me, and we both broke into giggles. “Thanks,” I told him. “The guy just can’t take a hint.” I rolled my eyes. “Forget hints; he can’t takefacts. I’ve told him no outright on multiple occasions.”

“I wish my husband were that tenacious,” Kel grumbled moodily.

There was a lull in the symphony of yowling, and my sigh seemed loud in the brief silence. Kel eyed me sadly. “What is it, Jasper? It’s not just about Brent, is it?”

“No, it isn’t.” I eyed my friend, debating how much I wanted to admit to, but the truth was pressing in on me from all sides, and if I didn’t let it out, I was likely to go completely bonkers and start howling like that husky in room two. “When I first heard that Eric was being traded back home, I felt something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in a long time.”

“What’s that?”

“Hope,” I whispered, embarrassed about the admission. “Even though I told myself that he despised me, and nobody would blame me for hating him… it didn’t stop me from scanning the faces of every man I passed on the sidewalk. Even though I knew the chances of him slumming it in my neighborhood were slim, I still watched, waiting, holding my breath, knowing that I would see him eventually. It had to happen, I just knew it.” My mouth was dry, and I tried to swallow but my throat locked up. “And now…” I made a little whimpering sound and looked at Kel, pleading for him to understand, not to make me say it.

“That hope has turned into something more,” he said, and I nodded.

My vision swam as tears began to collect on my lashes. “There’s never been a time when I didn’t want him, and I hate myself for what I did to him.” The tears spilled over, and I sniffled loudly and wiped them away with the back of my hand.

Kel’s brows scrunched up in thought, his mouth turned down at the corners, and he sagged back, propping his hip on the edge of the desk. “Look, my husband and I aren’t exactly a model example of what a healthy relationship should look like. My marriage is a total wreck, but… I still love him.” He chuckled sadly, offering up a shrug. “I’ve had my mom nagging in my ear for years about how I should just leave him already, but I can’t bring myself to do it. And you know what?” Kel tilted his chin up defiantly. “Our marriage is nobody’s business but ours. Don’t listen to what Brent says. His opinion doesn’t matter.”

He pulled a tissue out of the box behind him and passed it to me. “If you want him, even after he insulted you, that’s okay. No judgment here. Even if you and Eric aren’t technically together and you’re just doing the whole co-parenting thing, that’s still a kind of relationship. It’ll take work, and it’ll probably be damn hard sometimes, but I know it’ll be worth it. For you, for Eric, and most importantly, for Cameron.”

“Yeah…” I said vaguely, wiping my cheeks dry.

Kel gave me a soft smile before heading back to work. “Just don’t let him break your heart, okay?”

I think it’s too late for that…

8

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