Page 41 of Room 908

Too soon, it was time to head to the hospital.

Cam hugged me carefully, unsure where to put his arms so that he wouldn’t hurt me. “Are you sure I can't come to the hospital? I can be a good helper. I can tell you to breathe.” He demonstrated with a fewhee-hee-hoos.

I kissed the top of his head. “I wish you could, but the hospital has rules about who can be in the delivery room. I promise Nana and Poppy will bring you in to meet your little brother or sister as soon as they can.”

My mom got all teary-eyed, and she couldn't stop hugging everybody. Eric was lapping the attention up. He'd grown up without his mom, and it wasn't until this moment that I realized how much it had affected him. Maybe that was why he wanted to build a family of his own so desperately, to surround himself with all the love he missed out on as a child.

Oh gods, now I was crying too.

Even my dad, ever the stoic, seemed to be struggling to manage his emotions. Thankfully, he took control of the situation. “All right, let's get this show on the road,” he said. “We're not helping him deliver this baby by standing around.” He ushered my mom out the door with a hand at her back, nudging gently. "Come on, Is. You too, Cam. Let's go."

Wordlessly, I followed Eric to the car, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. My mind was too full—mostly with fear.

Some people said that omegas blocked out the worst memories of labor, as a way of coping with the trauma to our bodies, but that was a big, fat lie. While years had passed since Cam's birth, I hadn't forgotten a single detail. The pain, obviously, but also how absolutely alone I'd felt in that moment. It was just me against the world, and I felt like I was staring into a black hole, the gravitational field trying to suck me in. It was a narrow thing, this ledge I was standing on, and I felt like it could go either way, and no one could predict what would happen over the next 12 hours.

Eric, watching me across the console as he drove to the hospital through quiet morning streets, seemed to sense the direction my brain was headed. He grabbed my hand and held tight. "Everything will be fine."

I nodded like I believed him, but meanwhile, my thoughts were spiraling out of control.

We pulled into the parking lot outside the hospital, but I paused on the sidewalk, staring up at the building. Eric didn’t rush me. He just pulled me into his side and kissed me on the temple. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, so lean on me when you need, okay?”

It felt like someone hit the fast-forward button. Through the insurance paperwork, directed upstairs to labor-and-delivery, and a nurse ducked between my stirruped knees to check my progress and declared, “Eight centimeters. Great job, Dad! It won’t be long now,” with a cheery smile.

I was on the thousandth lap of the tiny room when the urge to push washed over me, heavy and urgent. I remembered this feeling, and I knew all too well what came next.

"I'm not ready for this," I panted, clenching my eyes shut, the panic in me threatening to take over.

Instead of fighting against me, trying to convince me that I was indeed ready, Eric simply gripped my hand and rubbed my back, helping to carry me through the contraction. When I looked up at him, his gaze was steady, unshakable. "What do you need to feel ready?"

“I-I need…” I wasn't sure there was an answer. “I don't know what I need.” Drugs. I needed drugs.

But it wasn't the pain I was afraid of; it was everything else. A baby! After raising Cam alone, I'd given up on having more kids, and I hadn't really given myself the time to get used to the idea of having a new tiny baby relying on me entirely again. But then a thought snuck through the panic. The responsibility wouldn’t be on my shoulders alone. Eric would be here with me this time.

“How about a distraction, something else to focus on?” he asked.

I found myself nodding, my eyes remaining fixed on him, as though seeing him clearly for the first time. "Yeah, sure, that sounds good,” I agreed vaguely, my whole being filled with love for this man.

“Okay, a distraction… let’s see…” he said, looking around the room for inspiration.

“Marry me,” I blurted suddenly, clinging to the lull between contractions.

His head whipped back so quickly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he got whiplash. “What?!”

“Why are you so surprised? You don’t want to marry me?” I asked teasingly.

Eric gave me a skeptical look, eyebrow raised. He’d always made it more than clear all the steps he wanted to take in our relationship, and I’d been waiting for a proposal this whole time, but he’d been holding himself back. He wanted to let me set the pace, but I knew with absolute certainty that he was it for me. He had been the only one for me since high school. Even when we were half a country apart and I pretended to hate his guts, my heart belonged to him, and I wanted to make it official.

I tried to lower myself to one knee in front of him, but he put a stop to that immediately. “Gods, Jasper, you’re in labor.” Grumbling, he lowered himself instead then sat me on his propped knee, the material of his pants rough against my exposed ass, bare through the back of my hospital gown. “That’s as close to kneeling as I’m willing to let you get.”

Cupping his face, his unshaved cheeks prickling my palms, I kissed him far too gently for the whole-body ache I was currently experiencing. “The thing is, Eric, Iamready for this baby. All morning, I’ve been obsessing over my memories of what it felt like the first time I was in labor. The pain, the fear, the solitude. And how hard it was to raise Cam that first year. And it was like I came up against this wall of dread, thinking about doing it all again. But you reminded me that nothing about this is the same. This is the way it was always meant to be. We’re doing this together, and I don’t ever want to be without you again. Marry me, Eric.”

“Of course I’ll marry you,” he said against my lips between kisses. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. “If you’d given me half a chance, I was going to ask you after our baby was born.”

I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck, but then my laugh turned into a groan as a contraction racked my body. Eric held me together while the pain threatened to pull me apart, and then when the contraction had passed, he lifted me easily and carried me to the bed. “What do you say we get this baby born.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

With Eric by my side and my determination back in place, it was practically easy—well, as easy as pushing a baby out could be, which was not very, but when compared to Cam’s birth, it was a breeze. My tears as I held my daughter for the first time were of joy and relief. There was no grief, no regret.

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