Page 2 of Shock

Everyone in the gym is giving me pitiful looks, and I hate it. I point to them all and yell.

“You’ve all seen blood your own blood before, and if you haven’t, I’ll gladly break your noses.” Most of them nod a few snicker but Uncle Toby smiles and pushes me into the locker room.

“Go wash up. Your Mama went to get you supplies.” I nod, but he knows me so well that at the last second when I think I can’t go inside, he pulls me into a hug.

“Big girls don’t cry. They kick ass. Now go in there, get cleaned up, and then we’re going to celebrate.” I pull away and shove him.

“If you say I’m a woman, now I’ll disown you.” He laughs.

“Nope, you’re still my Hannah banana. But ice cream fixes everything, or are you too old for that now?” I punch him in the arm, and he falls back onto the floor dramatically.

“Rocky Road, two scoops. After we finish training.” He smirks at me but nods.

“You got it, Hannah banana.” I groan and slam the locker room door to Uncle Toby’s laughter and get into the shower.

I watch as the blood runs down the drain. I guess I can’t run from womanhood after all.

It was worth a shot.

CHAPTER ONE

SHOCK

I tap the bar top,waiting to get the attention of the bartender, and grind my teeth. If I have to listen to one more word coming out of the drunk guy’s mouth behind me, I’ll go insane.

The poor girl with him is clearly on the worst date of her life. This guy is the classic case of “Can’t find a clit with a roadmap,” if I’ve ever heard one. I try to ignore him, I really do, but then he taps my shoulder.

“Fuck,” I whisper to myself before turning around.

“You look like a good time. This chick clearly has no idea what she’s missing.” He smiles at me and thinks he’s charming.

His date snorts and goes to leave, but I grab her hand and shake my head. I wink at her, and she grins at me, retaking her seat.

“Are you lost?” I ask him as he looks at me, confused.

“You don’t sound like you know your way around a woman.” The bartender places a whiskey in front of the man, and I snag his drink, downing it in one go.

“I’m a local. Let me help you.” I pat his leg and lean in close to his ear so he hears every word I say.

“You want to go straight up Lick Lane to Clit Circle. It can be tricky to find, but I promise, it’s there.” I start using my hands as if I’m giving him real directions.

“Go around the roundabout and take the third right onto O Ave. Now you’re gonna need to punch the gas to get up that hill. Why aren’t you writing this down? See, that’s what is wrong with men today. They never ask for directions, and on the rare chance they do, they don’t take notes and forget when they are back on the road.” I look over to his date, who’s laughing at the look of shock on the guy’s face.

“Driving a woman drunk is just as bad as a car, my guy. I’m going to take your girl home now and show her how a real man treats a lady.” I lean into the woman and kiss her lips.

“Thank you,” she whispers to mine, and I wink at her as I pull away.

This dude falls off the barstool from, well, shock.

I sigh as I look at the poor man. His date stands and smiles at me before walking away. Oh well, I must not be her type.

“Hey, is he ok?” The bartender asks me, and I shrug.

“Don’t know or care. Whiskey sour, please. On him.” I ignore the man on the floor and collect my drink just in time to see Glitch walking in.

When she spots the dude trying to get off the floor at my feet, she stops cold.

“Why do you have a man kneeling in front of you during Sunday brunch?” I grin at her.

---