Page 58 of Crave: A Reverse Harem Romance

It felt so real. I hoped that other people would see it that way too, even though it wasn’t your traditional romance novel. I hoped that what was in my heart shined through my writing.

These last two months had been the best of my life. I was excited as soon as the boys agreed that we could all try to date, but in the beginning, I was still worried it wouldn’t work out. I mean, it seemed more likely that it wouldn’t than it would. Three boys with no jealousy, no frustration, just love, happiness, and a lot of hot sex?

It was working. Axel’s original plan of them each having two days a week was a phenomenal one. Nobody ever felt like they weren’t getting enough time with me. Everyone got to enjoy my company. We all spent time together on Sundays and sometimes at Crave.

We’d built a life together. Yes, it was still new, but I had no doubts that this was something long lasting. I desperately wanted it to be. I had reached a point where I was sure that if I couldn’t have all three of them for the rest of my life, I’d never be completely happy.

I’d fallen in love with each and every one of them, and they’d all fallen in love with me. We discussed it as a group just a few weeks after our relationship began… how happy we all were to be together. How deeply they loved me and wanted to be with me.

Diesel had even recently been talking about how he wanted all three of us to move in together. He’d been talking to an architect and was looking at plots of land right outside the city to build our own mini-mansion.

I was pretty excited by the idea. I loved my house and I would miss it, of course… but I was starting to feel pretty out of place in it. It was a weird feeling, being a stranger in your own home. It felt like the home of the old version of Harlow.

The somewhat boring one who stayed home every weekend and wrote about the life she wanted to live instead of actually, you know, living it. That home was quiet, simple, and a little too ordinary. I felt anything but ordinary now. The home no longer matched me.

I was excited about building something new with my boys—a future we could create together. We were even going to talk to the architect and discuss things we each felt we needed in the house. Like I really wanted a balcony off the master bedroom. I wanted somewhere I could go to look out into the yard and enjoy a cool breeze as I spent my evenings writing.

It sounded odd, but being with them had even made me a faster writer. I supposed it was just part of having more experiences to write about… but yeah, it was different now. I was getting more joy out of it than I had in a long, long time.

I used to stress out about my work a little bit. It had become a lot less enjoyable to me because it was a necessity for me to survive, and I often felt like I had to write regardless of whether I was inspired or not. But it wasn’t that way anymore.

It wasn’t because I could mooch off my boyfriends. I was still an independent woman, but money was certainly less of an issue now. I was going to sell my house before I moved in with the rest of the boys, and it would be a great little nest egg for me as I continued to write at my leisure in my new home.

I had no intention of going back to writing regular old romance. There would be no more boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, she falls in love back, and they lived happily ever after. I was blown away by the beauty of my polygamous relationship, and my only passion was showing that to the world.

That was why I was so nervous about sending this first draft to my editor. Even though I was proud of this book, I had no idea how it was going to be received. If it wasn’t received well, my heart was going to be broken and I was scared I was going to lose my passion for writing romance.

On a more personal level, it scared me to not have this book well received because it was my life. I was terribly afraid that my relationship with the boys wasn’t going to be well received either, and that I was going to be judged for our lifestyle.

I had to get over that, though. I couldn’t care what people thought about me. I wasn’t living my life for them, I was living it for me. I was living to be happy. This made me happier than anything ever had before. People could dislike me all they wanted for it, but I was determined to spend the rest of my life with these boys. Mark my words, I’d marry them all one day.

My phone rang, and I welcomed the distraction. I just wasn’t ready to click send on my book, even though I had the file already attached in my email. I set up the email as I mulled over my feelings about it.

I thought it was going to be one of my boys calling, but it was Liza. Oh, good, I thought. I hadn’t talked to her all week.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hello, Miss Queen of Crave,” she said.

I had to laugh. That was how she referred to me lately because it was how a lot of people had been referring to me at the club. Everyone knew who I was now, and they knew that I was dating not just one but all of the owners. We were very open about our relationship at the club.

And, thankfully, we weren’t really judged there. But a lot of people who came to Crave were more than used to alternative lifestyles. It was a different vibe than being out in public anywhere else.

Actually, there were a few people who judged me. Some of the girls who used to hook up with Diesel and had big crushes on him weren’t big fans of mine. But oh well. They were going to have to deal with it. He was all mine now.

People were shocked when he stopped trolling the club for hookups. The lack of his presence was immediately noticed. He had no desire for any other women anymore. He spent his time with me, and if he wasn’t with me, he sat back in his office with a couple of beers and got some work done.

“So, how are things going?” she asked.

“Pretty good… just trying to pluck up the courage to send this book to my editor.”

“Oh, you mean your autobiography.”

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see it. “Yeah, pretty much.”

She knew about my relationship, of course. I was so nervous when it came time to tell her, but to my surprise, she took it swimmingly. She thought it was going to be good for me, having all three of them. ‘You never did seem satisfied with just one man,’ she’d said.

“It just feels really personal and hard to put out there, so I’m just… I’m anxious.”

---