Page 88 of Pity Party

“We’re not,” Jamie and I say at the same time.

“Then what could possibly be so important?” We don’t have a chance to respond before she guesses. “It’s Beth, isn’t it? You’ve heard from her.”

“Don’t you want to take your shower before we talk?” Jamie asks.

“If it’s Beth, I want to hear about it now.” She hops out of the car and drops her bag on the ground and Jamie retrieves it for her. He leads the way to the house. “Come on then. We’ll talk inside.”

I feel the uncertainty coursing through Sammy. She doesn’t follow quickly, like she would if she were excited to hear what her dad has to say. Instead, she stumbles along like she’s on her way to take a calculus exam with only an algebra background.That’s strangely a recurring nightmare I still have.

Jamie unlocks the door, drops Sammy’s things in the entry, and then continues through the living room to the deck. He sits on the swing while waiting for us to catch up. When we do, Sammy stands as still as a soldier, seemingly unsure what to do next.

“Come here.” Jamie pats the seat next to him. I sit on a lounge chair across from them.

Once Sammy’s settled, Jamie says, “Your mom would like to meet you.”

Sammy jolts like she’s just been zapped with a taser gun. “You’ve heard from her? When is she getting here?”

“She arrived yesterday,” he tells her.

“She’s already here?” She stands up and starts vigorously pacing back and forth across the planks. “Have you set up a time?”

“I was thinking Sunday might be good,” Jamie says.

It’s clear that panic takes over her brain. “That’s not even a week away!”

I decide to enter the conversation. “That’s almost awholeweek away. Six full days.”

“Six days …” she repeats.

“That’s a lot of time to get your questions in order but not too much time to totally take over your life,” I assure her.

“But I have my first day of school the next day.”

“We’ll be home early in the evening,” Jamie says. “You can do this, honey. You’ve been asking about your mom for years, and now’s your chance to get some answers.”

Sammy starts to breathe so hard I’m afraid she’s going to hyperventilate. “Inhale to the count of seven and exhale the same,” I tell her. Then I say, “Sammy, you’re a woman now. You can do this.”

Thoughts appear to flash behind her eyes a mile a minute. “You’re right, Melissa. Iama woman. Icando this.”

“I believe in you,” I tell her before asking, “Would you like me to go with you? Not to actually meet your mom, but to offer moral support on the way down and back?”

“Would you?” Sammy sounds so relieved, I’m glad Jamie thought to ask me.

“You bet,” I tell her. “I’d do anything for you, Sammy.”

She comes over to my chair, bends down, and offers me a quick hug. “Thank you.” Then she looks at Jamie and announces, “We’ve got this, Dad.”

His expression falters slightly before he replies, “You know we do.”

“I’m going to take my shower now.” Sammy runs into the house, leaving us alone.

“I told you she’d want you to go with us,” Jamie says.

“Yes, you did.”

“Come sit with me.”

I get up from my chair and join him on the swing. Once I’m there, he takes my hand. He doesn’t make any other move.

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