Page 10 of Stupid Dirty

It’s a rock wall that’s nearly a straight drop, maybe forty feet down to still, dark water at the bottom. The water is black, but it glitters in the moonlight, mesmerizing me for a long time.

Staring into the water, I let myself get lost in it. The endless loop of loud, terrifying thoughts that chased me out here from the house is still going, but the beauty of the water makes it a little quieter. My shoes scuff over the edge and the sound of gravel echoing down to splash in the water is satisfying in the most basic, visceral way.

I want to hear it again and again, so I kick more rocks, and the sound continues to soothe me more than anything else has tonight. The weight in my chest isn’t gone, but that sound makes it lift just a little.

I wonder what it would feel like to fly.

Maybe Cade should be angry at me. I’m completely wasting my life.

Maybe I’m angry at me.

Looking out over the water, I focus on the glittering. At least the world is still beautiful, even if I’m not. Swaying with the breeze, I let out a sigh and try to let go of all this melancholy that’s threatening to drown me.

The weight is finally dissipating from my chest, and I feel like I can breathe again.

My trance is broken when I hear someone barreling towards me.

“Silas, what the fuck are you doing?”

Chapter Five

The quarry is my favorite thing about Braydon’s house. It’s a long drive to get all the way out here to Jasper, so I don’t see him as much as I’d like, but he’s a decent guy and his place is nice. Modest, tranquil, plenty of green surrounding it. Exactly the kind of thing I’d love for my sisters to grow up and have one day.

The most peaceful part of it is the quarry. Braydon’s parties are legendary. Every rider in this part of the state hangs out here, but most people avoid the quarry because we’re all country kids who know that darkness, alcohol and steep drops don’t mix. Not to mention that there are mountain lions around here sometimes.

I’m the only one who tends to slip away and spend some time looking at the water. I’ve never had company before, so I was surprised when I saw a figure framed by the moonlight.

I was more surprised when I saw it was Silas, and the annoyance that unfurled in me at the sight of his stupid facealmost made me turn around and march back to the house. But then I saw how close he was standing—no, swaying—to the edge.

“Silas, what the fuck are you doing?”

Dumb, drunk fuck.

I run towards him before he slips and dies. If he dies, everyone will say that I pushed him, and I’ll go to jail, and my mom will end up turning Maddi and Sky into little oxy addicts, just like her. These are the images that bubble through my brain as I move, my legs eating up the distance between us as fast as I can.

“Cade?”

He looks confused when he turns around and it makes him lean back, swaying more precariously over the edge. I swear he looks like he’s about to take a step back into nothingness.

Thank fuck I have long arms. I reach towards him, snatching his wrist as I dig my heels in to reverse my momentum. It works, but it’s so abrupt that I fall ass-backwards into the gravel and bring him down on top of me, sending all the air whooshing out of my lungs.

Which hurts, but is worth it. Because I’m a little drunk too, but I know I was right. His dumb ass would definitely have fallen. And there’s water down there, but definitely not enough to avoid grievous bodily harm.

I know that and everyone at the house knows that, but obviously Mr. First Place doesn’t.

I’m stuck on my back and Silas is on top of me, staring at my face with the widest eyes I’ve ever seen. In fact, it’s probably the closest thing to a facial expression I’ve ever seen him have. Unlessseriousis a facial expression. The plastic cup he was holding landed somewhere nearby and the smell of cheap whiskey is hanging around us like a cloud.

“What did I do?”

Goddammit. Between the wide-eyed confusion and the innocent voice, he practically looks like Sky when she’s worriedI’m about to yell at her for something. Why am I such a pushover?

I elbow myself up to a half-seated position, hauling him with me because he seems too shocked to do it himself. We end up sitting in the gravel facing each other. I’ve got one leg straight out in front of me while the other is bent and resting against him, because I wasn’t expecting to run like that and I’m still trying to catch my breath.

“You were about to fall off the edge, you asshole.”

“Oh.”

Oh.Sweet Christ on a cracker. I don’t remember him being this infuriating in high school. Although I think we’ve now officially exchanged more words today than in our entire high school experience.

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