Page 18 of Stupid Dirty

“Okay, well, now that we got that cleared up, I’m going to say hi to some people and you’re going to try socializing. I have faith in you. Technically, you know a lot of these people from high school, even if you never talked to them before. If you get stuck for conversation, just talk about bikes. Remember, this is Possum Hollow. Everyone fucking loves dirt bikes. I’ll come rescue you in a little while.”

This is fine. I can do this. I’m not scared.

Cade moves like he’s about to walk away, and I resist the urge to snag his shirt and pull him back so he stays by my side. But, at the last second, he turns back and leans in to whisper in my ear.

“You can do this, robot boy.”

And I can. I mean, I’m capable of making polite conversation, like Dad trained me.

But it’s fucking exhausting. Every word, every expression, every shift in body language has to be analyzed and then I have to figure out how I’m supposed to respond. The worst part is, I’m not allowed to be honest about the fact that I don’t know what to say to these people and don’t really want to spend time with them.

I have to pretend that it all comes naturally to me. As if it isn’t the single most draining activity a person can do.

There’s a flurry of movement out of the corner of my eye, and I catch sight of Cade. He’s standing with some of his friends in a corner and telling a story that seems to require an excessive amount of hand gestures, but is making everyone laugh. Cade is definitely someone that all this comes naturally to. People flock to him. It’s warm in here, so he’s slipped off his hoodie and is wearing nothing but his ripped jeans and a t-shirt that says “Trailer Park Barbie” in pink glitter. Somehow, he manages to make it look cool.

There’s a flush to his cheeks from how animated he is, and everyone around him is totally enraptured. It’s like his superpower; the ability to draw people in. I’ll never know how he does it, but I’m not jealous.

It’s almost a relief when Wish slides her compact body in beside me. I don’t really know her, and the piercing way she looks at me is terrifying, but at least I don’t feel like I have to beonwith her.

Not if she’s Cade’s best friend.

“So tell me, new bestie-in-law,” she says as she slings an arm over my shoulder. It’s almost exactly like what Cade did earlier, except she’s so short I have to kind of stoop so she can reach me, and she feels foreign next to me, soft in all the places he’s hard. “Cade seems to think that you grew up under a rock and need tolearn to play nicely with others, but I’ve been watching you do the rounds, and you seem fine.”

“Um, it’s not so much that I can’t talk to people, it’s more that I-”

She cuts me off.

“I’ve also watched him watching you. All concerned and protective. It’s very cute, I’m not gonna lie.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

“And I’ve watched you watching him. Watching you. The whole thing is giving off some realWuthering Heightsvibes.”

She’s slurring a little and apparently likes to ramble as much as her BFF does.

“Um-”

“So what’s the deal?”

“The deal?”

She leans forward to poke me in the chest. Not hard enough to move me, but she does sway a little as she leans back, staring me down.

“What’s your deal? With him? Because I love him and it’s my job to protect him, because no one else does.”

That sounds too familiar, and my heart gives an uncomfortable squeeze. I still don’t know what answer she’s looking for, so I say the only thing I do know.

“He’s my friend. He looked out for me when no one else was there. I would never do anything to hurt him.”

She’s still staring at me with that piercing, if slightly alcohol-glazed, look in her eyes.

“I promise.”

That seems to satisfy her.

“Then go find him and tell him to take you home, because you obviously hate it here.”

I let out a long sigh. “That’s the first thing anyone’s said all night that makes sense. But he’s having fun. I’m fine to hang out for a while.”