Page 53 of Stupid Dirty

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It was a series of terrible choices. But thank fuck we were both innocent enough to not have any STDs yet, and we dodged the pregnancy bullet. Like two months later, my cousin Laiken, who was also fourteen, actually did get knocked up. And kept the baby, which is why I am an uncle to a fucking seven-year-old. And her baby daddy is a total scumbag, but we’re all stuck dealing with him forever now. If that doesn’t put you off risky sex for life, I don’t know what will.”

I didn’t mean to tell him that whole very embarrassing story when I opened my mouth. But once I started, it kind of got away from me. It happens to me a lot. Most of the time, I think Silas thinks it’s cute, or funny, or whatever. But right now he’s looking at me with his head tilted like a lizard in the sun.

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“About what?”

“Last night, should we have… I mean, we can’t get pregnant, but guys are still supposed to have safe sex, right? Sorry, I’m dumb about this stuff. Like I said, if it didn’t have to do with motorcycles, it wasn’t exactly something I was encouraged to learn about growing up, so I didn’t think about it until now.”

“Yeah, well I imagine neither of our fathers ever planned on sitting us down and talking us through the finer points of safe dick-in-ass sex.” Silas grimaces at my choice of words, but it only makes me roll my eyes. “If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it, Silas,” I say in a sing-song voice before biting my lip and looking up at him through my eyelashes.

Heat flashes behind his eyes and he immediately grabs my hips to pull me closer to him until we’re firmly pressed together. The stiffness I feel tells me that I am so fucking good at gayflirting, which makes me smile more. Or maybe I’m just good at Silas flirting.

Who the fuck cares? He’s the only one I’m flirting with, either way.

“My dude, you had your dick in my ass, and then you blew your load in my ass, and then you stared at your cum dripping out of my ass, said it was beautiful and finger-fucked me until I cried. This was like eight hours ago, Silas. I realize that a lot of shit has changed for us in a very short space of time, but I think you should be able to say the word ‘condom’ in front of me.”

He’s blushing so hard I’m worried he might burst into flames. Fuck, how is it this much fun to tease him?

My smile only gets wider. I don’t see myself ever getting tired of this. I lean my whole body into him, pulling him into a slow, sensual kiss. I’ve had sex before, sure, and the occasional girlfriend, but this kind of soupy, lusty miasma? This feels like something new, and I want to swim around in it forever.

I grind against him, almost purring when one of his big hands grabs my hip, while the other runs up my back to tangle in my hair. He digs his fingers in, the tug and sting of it making me tingle until I almost forget what we were talking about.

It takes all my self-control to pull back from him before we get distracted and go for round two.

“Well, we both know I’ve had quite the dry spell recently, and my paranoia keeps me from slacking on getting tested. And you must be clean. I mean, you wore a condom when you fucked Cassidy, right?”

Silas’ hand freezes, his fingers just under my waistband, and he looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I tense up because he tenses up, and a nervous energy invades our happy, post-sex bubble.

“Silas? Please tell me you did not have unprotected sex with a pit bunny a week and a half before you and I decided to discover the magical marvels of your dick being in my ass?”

“Dude, can you go three minutes without saying the words ‘dick’ or ‘ass’, please? I’m trying to have a serious conversation and every time you say the words, all I can think about is…”

“Your dick in my ass?” I’m so helpful.

“Dick.” Silas scowls at me, leaning back far enough to punch me in the arm, just like Wish does. There’s a moment where I think about how many normal friend things he’s gotten used to, and it makes my heart do that squeezy thing.

But then I kiss him to get rid of the scowl, so I guess he’s not really my friend anymore. Or at least not just my friend.

My mind snaps back to the matter at hand.

“Wait, focus. Was there a condom or not? Are you about to tell me that our first date is going to be at Planned Parenthood so we can both get our dicks swabbed? Because I’ll do it if I have to, but I think I should be upfront that I definitely don’t have a medical kink.”

I know I’m trying too hard to be funny, but he’s making me nervous.

“No, we don’t need to do that.” He sighs, but then his gaze flicks up to pin me down. “Wait, you want to go on a date with me?”

“Silas, not the point!”

“Sorry.” The blush is back. “I actually didn’t have sex with Cassidy. I just… I dunno. I couldn’t do it. It felt weird, and I didn’t like leaving you at the bar, but I couldn’t figure out why. And I was going to tell you the next day, but then your dad showed up and things got crazy. I wanted to tell you that I didn’t, but I didn’t know how to without being able to tell you why I didn’t, and I couldn’t explain why. So…no. I didn’t fuck her.” Heblows out a breath before adding as an afterthought, “And she’s not a fucking pit bunny.”

That’s possibly the most words I’ve ever heard him say in one go. He’s looking at me like he’s worried I’ll be mad at him or something, which is stupid as hell, and I want to wipe that expression off his face and never see it again.

“Hey,” I take his face in my hands, pulling it up so he looks at me properly. “Hey, that’s okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard that night.”

Taking a deep breath, something falls into place that I couldn’t figure out before.

---