Page 59 of Stupid Dirty

I also catch her watching me warily when she thinks I’m looking the other way sometimes. Her enthusiasm may be genuine, but that doesn’t mean she’s doubt-free about the reality of this little venture.

Which is fair. If there’s anything in life that I’m unprepared for, it’s this.

Cade’s mom finds out next, in a much, much more embarrassing way. We take the calculated risk of fooling around in his room while she’s passed out cold on her sofa. I underestimate how addicted I am to the noises Cade makes when I have my mouth around his cock. What was supposed to be a quickie turns into the longest, messiest blow job I’ve given him yet, and we both fail to notice how loud he’s gotten until his mom comes in to see what all the noise is about.

Kris and I get along fine. She never seems to have a problem with me being folded into the collection of ‘children’ hanging around that she loosely parents in between hangovers. But I never wanted her to see me naked.

And definitely not naked, on my knees, with my face buried in her son’s crotch while he is spread-eagled on his mattress.

At leastheisstill wearing most of his clothes.

The saving grace of the situation—once we all get over the crippling, gut-churning mortification—is that she isn’t pissed about it. Pissed that we didn’t lock the door, yes. But not pissed that we’re fooling around.

I’ve seen Cade go toe-to-toe with his mom in a thousand stupid arguments, because they’re both ridiculous and love tofight. And I’ve seen them have each other’s backs a thousand times as well, despite all the shit. But this is the first time I’ve seen him look scared around her.

His mom fails him a lot. It’s never because she doesn’t love him, though. We’ve talked about it before, and he knows logically that his mom isn’t a homophobe and probably won’t give a shit. But knowing something and facing it are very different. In that moment, while he’s waiting for her reaction, it seems like the first time he is genuinely worried what might happen.

Instead, she rolls her eyes in that long-suffering way only parents can.

“If you guys are going to hump each other, can you at least lock the door? I may have created your testicles, once upon a time, but I don’t wanna see ‘em anymore. Especially not on Silas’ pretty face.”

That’s it. She turns around and leaves us to it, Cade staring after her with wide eyes.

“And keep it down. If I wanted to feel like I was sleeping in a cathouse, I would work in one!”

The laughter that bubbles out of both of us is half-embarrassment, half-relief. When I kick the door shut again, tackle him to the bed and try my best to kiss that nervous look off his face, everything feels okay.

I keep waiting for some monumental cosmic shitfest to come down on us, but nothing has really changed.

We already hung out together all the time, anyway. Now I just sleep at the trailer more often. And with Dad spending more time out doing “business” that he always seems to come home shit-faced from, I’m happy to have the escape.

Until I walk into the trailer, stomping my boots from the thin layer of snow that’s crusting the ground outside, and find myself in an alternate dimension.

“Yo!” Cade bounces over from where he has something bubbling on the stove. His eyes are bright and his cheeks are flushed with excitement, and there’s cheap red tinsel wrapped around his neck. The rest of the tinsel is covering every inch of the trailer. He pulls me into a kiss that’s a little too deep to be family-friendly, even though I’m sure the girls are home, and the stupid tinsel scratches at my face.

“Uh, what happened here?” I gesture to all the Christmas crap that’s manifested since the last time I came over.

“Dude! Yes. Yes yes yes. I pulled out our decorations, and they were so depressing. But this is our first Christmas where I’m working a non-minimum wage job, so I thought we could celebrate. I went to the Dollar Tree and I may have gone a little overboard, but Christmas is Maddi’s favorite holiday, so fuck it. Whatcha think?”

Words are failing me. The whole thing looks like a giant fire hazard.

“I feel like I’m living in Santa’s ass.”

Cade gasps and leans back, clutching at his chest like I’ve wounded him. “Oh snap, he makes jokes now. I’ve created a monster. Quick, bring back robot Silas. I can’t handle new Silas with a sense of humor.”

But he’s so bright and happy, surrounded by all this cheap, mass-produced crap. I can’t be grumpy about it for long. Snagging the front of his sweatshirt, I pull him back towards me for another kiss, determined to ignore the scratchy tinsel if it makes him this happy.

When his tongue slips into my mouth and his hips roll into mine, I realize I made the right choice.

“Ew.” A voice interrupts us. “Cade, I thought we made a rule about not necking in the kitchen, where my innocent eyes can be traumatized.”

Maddi walks past us, looking totally unperturbed despite what she says, and picks up stirring whatever Cade has forgotten about before it burns. She looks more like him than either Sky or his mom, with the same unruly dark hair and intense gray eyes, and the same delicate features. But where Cade exudes constant, buzzing energy, Maddi is calm. They’re on opposite ends of the focus spectrum.

If I had to guess, I’d say she’s the real reason this trailer hasn’t burned to the ground.

“Hi, Maddi.” I try not to get distracted by how much I love the sight of Cade’s lips when they’re slightly swollen and shiny with my spit, so I can remind myself there are other people in the world.

She gives me a small smile and goes back to stirring. Maddi and I have a mutual respect over being the only people in this trailer that don’t need to voice every thought in our heads. It’s gone a long way towards helping her accept me being around so much. She’s a creature of habit, and was the one most likely to be disrupted by me invading their lives.

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