Page 23 of You've Always Been Mine

“There are gender-neutral clothes,” Avery replies. “And waiting seems like it will be fun!”

“I disagree,” Derek says. “It sounds like torture to not know.”

“Thank you.” Adam raises his mimosa towards his brother-in-law.

“Oh, please.” Avery rolls her eyes. “Help me out, Olivia. Doesn’t waiting until the baby is born to find out the gender seem like a fun idea?”

“Oh. Um…” I fidget. “Sure. I mean, it will make the birth that much more exciting, I guess.”

“Exactly!” Avery looks between her husband and brother. “Olivia gets it.”

The three of them continue debating the merits of waiting to find out the baby’s gender. I take the opportunity to excuse myself to use the restroom. Once I’m locked inside, I stand at the sink and stare at my reflection, cursing the moisture I see brimming in my eyes.

I can’t believe how selfish I’m being. This is good news. I’m happy for Avery. I need to act like it. My personal feelings have no place in this moment.

I spend the next few minutes pulling myself together. Once I’m sure I’m not going to break down into tears at the next mention of the word baby, I leave to rejoin the others.

“Jesus!” I jump back, and my hand flies to my chest. Derek stands in the hall just outside the bathroom door. “What are you doing?”

“Checking on you.” He watches me with too-knowing eyes. “Are you all right?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You’re acting funny.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

I cross my arms and frown. “No, I’m not.”

“Is it something I did?”

Yes, but not in the way you think…

“No. I’m fine. Just tired.”

Derek doesn’t believe me. I can sense he’s going to keep asking unless I change the subject so I say the first thing that comes to mind, “Are you going to Comedy Fest this week?”

Comedy Fest is a week-long festival where a mix of well-known and up-and-coming comedians perform at various bars and venues around Ann Arbor. As kids, Derek and I always talked about going together, but by the time we were twenty-one and could enter the establishments, we weren’t really close.

“No, I didn’t even know it was happening.”

“Well, it is.” I shuffle my stance. “Do you want to go?”

“Are you inviting me?”

Am I? Ugh… I totally am.

I’ve gone too far to back out now. “Yup,” I nod. “I was supposed to go with Holly, but she has the flu.” The majority of our high school graduating class stayed in town to go to the University of Michigan, but Holly went to Michigan State like me. We roomed together Freshman year, and then we lived inapartments together for the rest of undergrad. We aren’t best friends, but we became decently close over the years. We both moved back to our hometown after graduating, and we hang out from time to time.

“You’re still friends with Holly?” Derek’s lips twist in a scowl. He was never a fan of Holly during high school. Looks like that hasn’t changed.

“I am. So… do you want to go?”

I honestly don’t know what I want him to say.

Self-preservation says I should want him to decline, but the rest of me hopes he says yes.

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