Page 28 of Secret Baby with My One Timer

“I know all that.” Narrowing my eyes as I stare at her. “And you know an awful lot about this for someone who is keeping out of my life.”

“He came to me and asked for my help.”

I don’t know what to say. My mom has never gotten involved in my life. She never questioned who Holly’s father was. She never gave me grief when I told her I was pregnant.

She just told me she would always be there for me.

“And his father called to tell me he was sorry, and the case has been dropped, but he hopes you keep your promise to do the right thing for Holly.”

“And Oliver.”

Mom shrugs. “Of course, that boy wants to be in his child’s life.” She stares out at the ocean, biting the inside of her cheek, and I know she wants to say something else. I wait as she sighs deeply, handing more pebbles to Holly. “And I know you feel more for him than you let on.”

“Do I?”

Her voice cracks as she says, “I was you once. I thought I was invincible. Then I met your father. He picked me up in his dad’s fancy car before taking me to see a movie. He was gorgeous, same golden hair as yours. I dropped my guard with him. He had me from the moment I met him.”

She’s never really talked of my father before. Most of the time, she shuts down the conversation. Other times, she would shrug and say, “He was bad news.”

“And when I got pregnant, he wanted to marry me.”

“What? You told me he left you.”

“His father hated me. I wasn’t the type of girl he expected his son to end up with.”

I swallow and wait as she pales.

“Anyway,” she whimpers. “His father sent him to stay with his sister in South Carolina, and he gave me half a million dollars to write a letter to him and tell him I wasn’t keeping the baby.”

“He wanted you to get rid of me?”

She shakes her head. Her voice croaks as she says, “No. He just wanted his son to have a solid reason to never come home.”

“And you needed the money?” I whisper. Wondering why she did it.

“I needed a home for my child.” She nods and points at the beach house we call home. “And he would have found a way for me to be permanently out of his life if I hadn’t taken it.”

“Is that the reason you found no one else?” I ask. Mom has dated but never found a man who gave her a spark.

She nods. “I was so foolish. Twenty years old and pregnant. I wanted him to be there for me, not run away. I was so angry with him.” Her voice shakes as she wipes away a tear. “And I signed away my rights to letting him know about you.”

“He doesn’t know I’m alive?”

Mom shakes her head. There’s a furrow in her brow as sadness coats her eyes. I feel the same. She’s telling me things I’ve never known. “He only received the one letter.”

Tears slip down my cheeks, realizing I’m repeating her life. “And you don’t want me to end up like you.”

She looks me in the eye, like she is about to say something really important. “I don’t. And if you feel as much for him as I did for your father, you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life if you choose to not give him a chance.” She goes quiet as she stares at the ocean and I finally see it. I see the wound in her heart now, the gaping hole that she never filled. Her voice shakes as she tries to not sob. “And I know Oliver loves you, he loves Holly, and I know he wants to make you both happy.”

I feel horrible for not knowing my mother had hurt all these years. We could’ve gone looking for my father if only she admitted the truth. “Do you want me to find my father before it’s too late?”

“I can’t. I signed an NDA. His father is still alive. I can’t afford to lose the house.”

“I signed nothing. Was I prevented from finding him?”

She shakes her head. “Can we talk about it another time?”

I take her hand. “We’ll talk when you’re ready.”

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