Page 107 of Cold As Ice

“Why do you care so much?” I blurted, and Rory frowned. “About her.”

I flicked my head toward the house, letting the emotions pushing their way to the surface settle. I’d always known coming back here would be difficult. It’s why I’d avoided it for so long.

But still, I hadn’t expected this.

A crushing weight so heavy I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“After everything she’s done,” I seethed. “How can you want to spend any time with her?”

“I know it’s complicated, but she’s our mom, Austin. The only mother we’ll ever have.”

“She never wanted us around,” I scoffed. “Pretty sure she resented us for ruining her modeling career.”

Rory inhaled a deep breath, studying me in a way that had spiders crawling under my skin. “I had it all wrong, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“Back in high school,” she said quietly. “I thought you’d abandoned me. I thought… I guess it doesn’t matter now. I see it now. You were just doing whateveryouneeded to do to survive.”

“Don’t. Don’t try and absolve me, Rory. I should have realized. I should have—”

“Austin.” She leaned over, gathering my hands in hers. “She hurt both of us. In her own way, I think she hurt you more.”

“You’ve got to fucking kidding—”

“Just… hear me out.” Her expression softened, but it did little to ease the guilt churning in my gut.

The guilt that had been growing and festering ever since she turned up on my doorstep.

“She hurt me, yes. But I think, in her own way, it was out of love. She wanted me to be her protégé, to follow in her footsteps.”

The muscles in my jaw worked overtime as I tried to fight the urge to punch something.

“What?” Rory asked.

“There isn’t a single thing wrong with you, and I hate—fucking loathe—the fact she ever made you feel like there was.”

“But I don’t think she knew the impact she was having on me.”

“That doesn’t make it okay, Rory. That doesn’t makeanyof it okay.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. But with you”—her sad smile dropped—“it was different. She didn’t like the way I looked, but she hated you.”

I scoffed, giving a little shake of my head. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“It seems stupid now. But back then, I thought you didn’t care. I didn’t know.”

“Let’s not do this.” I went to shoulder the car door open, but Rory squeezed my hand tighter. “She can’t hurt us anymore, Austin. Coming here isn’t about forgiving her or making amends. It’s about closure. About finally letting go.”

Fuck. She made it sound so simple.

Maybe she was just a better person than me, a bigger person. I didn’t want closure. I wanted Mom to fucking rot for the way she’d treated us—especially Rory.

I stared up at the house, a hundred and one tainted memories looping through my mind. “I don’t know how you expect me to go in there and listen to whatever bullshit she has to say.”

“You don’t have to come in,” Rory said. “I can go in alone. But honestly, I think you’ll regret it. Our childhood wasn’t the best, Austin. But it wasn’t the worst, either.

“We got out. We moved on. We didn’t let her completely ruin us. That has to count for something.”

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