Page 132 of Cold As Ice

“I would have paid to see you get found out by that little girl. She’s something else.”

“Madison panicked, made me hide in the bathroom, and I got cold feet and ended things.”

“Do you want to end things?”

“No. Yes.” I heaved a sigh, hating that she was doing this. But at the same time, I felt a sense of relief to finally be talking about it.

It was confusing as fuck.

“Shit, Rory, I don’t know. She has a kid. I’m still in college.”

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” she said, and the words rocked me to my core.

“What do you mean?”

“In high school, you were the popular guy, surrounded by girls and guys all wanting a piece of the Austin Hart pie. I just assumed that’s how it was for you here. But I don’t know, you’re different.”

“Three years of college will do that to a guy.”

“No, it’s more than that.” Her expression turned sad. “It’s like you’re lost, Austin. Or maybe not lost, but stuck. Going through the motions.”

“You’d be lost too if all your friends started settling down.”

“But this isn’t about them, it’s about you. Whatyouwant and need. Why did you end things with Fallon, Austin?”

“What?”

“Just humor me.”

“Because I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. She started to talk about the future like we were a sure thing, and I knew my future didn’t include her.”

“And Madison?”

“I— It’s not the same.” A long sigh escaped me. “I was seeing Fallon for months. I barely know—”

“Humor me.”

“I didn’t really let myself think beyond the next time I saw her.”

Just that I wanted to see her again.

“Maybe you didn’t think about the future with her because it scared you. Because you knew it was different.”

“I…” The words didn’t come.

I wasn’t an idiot. I knew what Madison and I had was different. Sure, it was mostly based on physical attraction. That simmering connection that seemed to flow between us. But Rory was right, there was something more there, too.

Something I didn’t let myself look too closely at because the thought of needing someone, of someone needing me, fucking terrified me.

I didn’t know the first thing about being in a relationship, let alone a relationship with a single mom.

“You’re scared.” Rory laid her hand on mine. “Austin, you can’t let what happened with Mom, with me, define your future. You’re a good person; you deserve to find happiness.”

“I let you down.”

The words ripped through the tension in the room like bullets.

“You were a child, Austin. A hotheaded teenager—”