Page 21 of Cold As Ice

“Yeah,” he murmured, a hint of something in his voice.

Regret?

Shame?

I didn’t regret it.

I wouldn’t want everyone to know what I got up to in the dark with Austin, but I wasn’t ashamed either.

Thick silence enveloped us as we stepped out of the alley and continued down the road toward Fawn’s building.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what he was thinking, but I swallowed the words.

Some things were better left unsaid.

And I wasn’t under any illusions that this was the start of my happily ever after.

* * *

“So… how did it go?” Fawn asked me the second I slipped onto her apartment.

I’d been hoping she might have already gone to bed, but I should have known better.

She was heavily invested in my love life, or more specifically, my sex life.

“It was… nice.”

“Nice?” Her expression betrayed her voice. “You went on a date with the infamous Austin Hart, and you’re telling me it was just nice?”

“First of all, it wasn’t a date. And second of all, I’m not talking with you about this.”

“Oh shit.” Her eyes almost bugged. “You like him.” She practically jumped over the back of the couch. “You actually like the guy.”

“No more than I like you or Jeremiah.”

“Damn, Madi, you weren’t meant to catch feelings for the guy. He’s supposed to be your chance at getting back on the horse.” She gave me a sympathetic smile, but it felt a lot like pity.

I winced. “Don’t do that. Don’t look at me like you feel bad for me.”

“I do feel bad for you.” She scoffed. “It’s been almost five years, and the only action your lady garden has seen is at your gynecologist appointment.”

“Bitch,” I snapped. “You know it isn’t that easy.”

“So, your life didn’t turn out the way you thought. It doesn’t mean you have to stop having some fun occasionally.”

“I have fun.”

“Going to Lemonade with Jer every other month does not count.”

“I like Lemonade,” I huffed.

“You would because it’s full of gay men, and no one is interested in hitting on you.”

She had a point. In the two years Jeremiah had been dragging me to his favorite bar, Lemonade, I had never been hit on. It felt safe there. Safe with Jeremiah and his man of the moment and their friends.

But Fawn was right; it had been almost five years.

I’d had no dates. No casual hookups.

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