Page 17 of Below the Surface

I shake my head, unsure what she means.

“You are afraid falling in love is impossible if we explore and push boundaries.”

Tears prickle my eyes.

“I know,” she says.

“You do?”

“Of course, I know. I’ve had those same fears, Cam.”

“But I don’t think I can be submissive all the time, Piper. I don’t want a lover to tell me when I can eat or what I need to wear to work.”

Piper takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what Kelsey has told you. I had a partner who enjoyed being completely submissive. We never crossed into master/slave territory. She liked me tochoose her outfits for work and organize her life. And that included ordering for her at restaurants—things like that. I enjoyed our time together, Cam. It evolved over time, and it worked for us for a few years. I don’t expect that from you, and I’m not sure that’s something I would ever want to do again.”

I nod. “It’s,” I struggle to form words.

“Cam, you need to be able to talk to me about anything.”

“It’s hard for me to talk about things.”

“I know it is, but I promise, nothing you say will make me cringe.”

I giggle. “It took me the entire weekend to complete that checklist,” I say. “Some of it made me—well it?—"

“Excites you.”

“Yes.”

“And that made you uncomfortable.”

“I guess. Some things I didn’t expect to interest me—or maybe I should say I don’t think it should excite me. Sometimes, I envy Kelsey.”

Piper kisses me. “Baby steps,” she says. “We’ll never be Kelsey and Caleb. Some things will surprise you in the best ways, and others will unsettle you. There’s no wrong way to feel. I won’t be disappointed or offended by anything you desire or tell me you want to set aside. We all have limits, Cam.”

“Kelsey keeps telling me I should come to the club.”

“It’s been years since I spent time at the clubs.”

“But you have gone to them,” I say.

“I have, and I’ve enjoyed the experience.”

I sigh.

“I don’t expect to do that with you. And if I can tell you the truth, I’m not sure I want to experience that with you. And unless we decide to change our dynamic, I’m Piper, and you’re Cam. Okay?”

I look at Piper curiously, wondering if she doesn’t want to visit the club because of my inexperience.

“I feel something for you,” Piper says. “Deep down. I think I need to make something clear.”

“What?”

“Maybe—maybe one day when we are comfortable with each other, when we’ve learned more about each other, and we trust what’s between us completely—maybe then, if we both want to experience something at a club, we will try. But I don’t want our relationship to be all about play, Cam. I loved tonight. I also want to make love with you. Slowly.”

The smile on my face makes its way from my toes. I know I could fall in love with Piper. The biggest part of me hopes she will fall in love with me. “I’m sorry if I’m clumsy.”

“Not at all,” Piper assures me. “Now, let’s go someplace more comfortable. I’ll get us some water. You take your time, shower if you’d like, or climb into bed.”

---